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I (M18) am trying to figure out if I should try harder or just leave my ex (F16)

2020.12.02 05:55 Bonsai6667 I (M18) am trying to figure out if I should try harder or just leave my ex (F16)

Please tell me whether I should move on with my life or try harder with this girl. Please read my post, i am desperate for advice.
We met through working together at mcdonalds and we dated. I was (M17) and she was (F16) at the time. We met at the start of this year. The relationship made me happy but I was such a fucking idiot and I didnt communicate properly.
2 months in she had second thoughts for a weekend because i wasnt texting her often so she took my name out of her social media bio. I said i love you to her and she told me she didnt know how she was. Then we resolved it by communicating more, then it deteoriated again, and 4 months in i broke up with her because i felt like i organised everything. Then i got back with her when i realised how much she did for me. We got back and we communicated for a bit then it deteoriated. Now on friday she broke up with me saying that it was the situation. I realised a day later its our communication. I am prepared to communicate properly now but i think its too late. We have gone through too many chances. She wont trust me anymore. Friday she broke up, and told me it was situation so all my texting to her was about how we can see eachother more. Didnt help. Saturday I went down to hers and suprised her by giving her some flowers. I told her the flowers symbolise at the start of our relationship when i was putting effort in i got her flowers. Me coming down to see her shows that change, in action not just words. In 7 months she always came to see me, so by me going to see her im showing the fact that ive really genuinely changed. I really care about her. I go to sleep crying because of how bad I have hurt her. I used to spend days at a time not messaging her. Now i hate myself for doing it. For 7 months she tried her best. The sad part is I finally know how to put in the effort consistently and I actually appreciate her.
But i am worried its too late. All i want to do is make it up to her. She has every reason to go and talk to some other guy. But i seriously want to give her the care she showed me.
She agreed to meet me and try again later on to see if i have changed, and she said she would talk to me today and im still waiting, but she also said that when i gave her the flowers that i was just trying to buy her back. It made me cry. She told my friend “hes so dumb, he doesnt get it. I just want to be friends” She wants my care without me ignoring her. Which is what im trying to do but i just wish she could see that. Its so hard because i broke her trust before when i broke up with her. This is like the opposite of the boy who cried wolf like I ignored her and ignored her. Now im ready to actually put in effort and she doesnt believe me. Im just stuck. She keeps saying she wants space but im not sure how to show her that after 7 months im finally ready to communicate properly, while also respecting her and giving her space. The problem was effort and im finally ready to put it in. But now its too late. If i give her space then thats good but she will start talking to other guys. I just want to be there for her. She tried so hard for so long. Im just trying to make it right, and give her the effort she put in me. Back to her.
I am worried that she could be talking to other guys because when we met she was dating a guy who didnt form a proper connection. I became her friend and then we got closer, she broke up with him to talk with me. Im worried that ive fucked it up so bad that she is doing that again now, but some other guy is giving her attention, and it is all my fault for not talking to her enough. I just want to make it right. From her point of view if we get back together i will be good for a few days then eventually fail to communicate. But i seriously am ready to put in effort consistently. I have made big changes and have ordered my real estate license course, and will complete it. I have applied to the Uni’s, I have worked out every day. I have gone out more, my problem is i dont know how to show her that i can communicate and show her i have changed when she says she needs space, and when she says to not talk to her for a bit. She has it tough, really really tough with her family, and I want to support her like she supported me all those months. Wheh i see her i want to not just tell her but show her that ive changed. Last night she said she would text tomorrow when she got home from something so I purposely havent texted her to give her as much space as possible. I respect her boundaries. In her eyes I must be not worth the pain that she thinks im going to create.
So yesterday she said we would talk today so when i woke up, she woke up at the same time and we started talking, i said hi and then she said hi, then she said wait before we talk properly give me a second, then she texted me an hour and a half later that she would call me tonight maybe. That now she is going to hang out with (male friend). Of course she can do whatever she wants. She can see whoever she wants but man that hurt. I was going to send a big message but i deleted it and just said, hope you have a good time, she said thankyou. I said talk later :) and she left me on seen. Ive been such a bad boyfriend now she is probably going to fuck this guy right? She isnt like that like she was very loyal during the relationship i just treated her so badly and it hurts me to think about how much i didnt talk to her. Now any guy who talks to her she may as well fuck. Because she fucked a guy who didnt talk to her a lot. So she may as well fuck someone who treats her better. Im just trying to do the right thing by her and make it up to her.
She says we will talk tomorrow or tonight then she doesn’t message. She says its hard to organise as she doesn’t know whats going on but then the next day sees her male friend. I just need one hour with her in person to talk to her. Thats all I want. That day I took the bus down to see her to show that Im willing to put in the effort too, and to see how long it takes by bus. I got there at 6 and knocked on her door until 9 when my phone died so i had to go to a neighbour and ask a stranger to let me charge my phone out of their wall. Then I called my dad to pick me up and take me to her other house with her other set of parents, and neither me or or my dad knew the street, all we knew was that it was near (my old school) so we just drove near (my old school) and looked around all of the streets. Then while we were driving around she texted me saying she was at a bbq and that she just got home so my dad drove me all the way back to her original house. Then she said she didnt want to see me so I asked her to just take the flowers and the note and that she didnt have to say anything to me. She still told me to go home. After a long arguement she took the flowers. Then my dad told me when I got in the car that she didnt look happy and she probably doesnt think that me coming to see her symbolised my putting effort in, and that I was just trying to use money to tempt her. I fucking cried like a little bitch that night man. I just want to give her the care that she gave me and its too late.
On sunday we called for a bit and i told her how much I hurt knowing what ive done to her over a long period of time. She told me how I used to be nice and I used to be funny at the start. But it all went away. I hurt her so bad, she just wants to be happy. I could move on and in a few months she would realised I have improved myself and my communication skills, but it would be too late. I would be at uni. If she doesnt want to talk to me now then I am never going to talk to her again. I just want to see if there is a chance that I can make things right. She tried so hard for so long, I just want to give that back to her. Every night i replay our entire relationship in my head and all the mistakes ive made. I cry and cry over how much i have hurt her. My one wish is to give her the care that she showed me for so long. Of course its her life and I cant control it at all. She can see whoever she wants.
I can move on whenever I want. I am going to uni soon and there will be plenty of socialising. I just want to give it one last shot now that I know how to communicate, I dont want all of her effort to be for nothing. I really genuinely care for her and I want to give back what she gave me.
Today she is hanging out with (male friend) and I am not busy, I hadnt planned anything because I thought we were going to talk. I want to go and see her in person just to get that across that I really do care and I really have changed. She hasnt planned a time for us to meet in real life and I cant stand crying every night at what I have done. I cry during my sleep and wake up with my face wet and my pillow drenched. I woke up this morning and drank two water bottles full of water. I just cant believe how bad i have fucked things up. I just need an hour in person to explain to her that I have changed, or even at the very least that I know what I did was wrong. I cant sleep until i make things right. If i can just get even 20 minutes in person with her I can get over it and never talk to her again if she wants to. Or I can explain that I have worked hard on it, and we can slowly talk again. Do you think once she gets home I should go and see what her decision is? If someone comes to see you on their own accord then she probably will see that as me caring as well. I just cant wait any longer, she can have all the space in the world and date someone else if she doesnt believe me that I have changed, but i just want her to see my actions, that I have. She may still say no and ill move on. But should i go today and ask her to tell me if I should just fuck off or if we can slowly talk again. She never organises a time, i ask and ask and she just says she isnt sure whats going on,
then she hangs out with other people. My friends have told me that I should just wait until she calls me tonight and if she does, to ask her on the phone to meet tomorrow. Keep in mind we met when I was 17 and she was 16, now Im 18 and she will be 17 in january. I live in and australian city and she lives in a suburb about an hour and a half away.
TLDR: I fucked up, and I really do genuinely care for this girl, and I finally have the guts to put in consistent effort. Do you think its too late and I should just leave it and meet someone new at university, or if its worth one last shot. I want to give it one last shot now that I know how to treat her better.
Thankyou for your time.
submitted by Bonsai6667 to askwomenadvice [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 05:18 Bonsai6667 Please tell me whether I should move on with my life or try harder with this girl

We met through working together at mcdonalds and we dated. I was (M17) and she was (F16) at the time. We met at the start of this year. The relationship made me happy but I was such a fucking idiot and I didnt communicate properly.
2 months in she had second thoughts for a weekend because i wasnt texting her often so she took my name out of her social media bio. I said i love you to her and she told me she didnt know how she was. Then we resolved it by communicating more, then it deteoriated again, and 4 months in i broke up with her because i felt like i organised everything. Then i got back with her when i realised how much she did for me. We got back and we communicated for a bit then it deteoriated. Now on friday she broke up with me saying that it was the situation. I realised a day later its our communication. I am prepared to communicate properly now but i think its too late. We have gone through too many chances. She wont trust me anymore. Friday she broke up, and told me it was situation so all my texting to her was about how we can see eachother more. Didnt help. Saturday I went down to hers and suprised her by giving her some flowers. I told her the flowers symbolise at the start of our relationship when i was putting effort in i got her flowers. Me coming down to see her shows that change, in action not just words. In 7 months she always came to see me, so by me going to see her im showing the fact that ive really genuinely changed. I really care about her. I go to sleep crying because of how bad I have hurt her. I used to spend days at a time not messaging her. Now i hate myself for doing it. For 7 months she tried her best. The sad part is I finally know how to put in the effort consistently and I actually appreciate her.
But i am worried its too late. All i want to do is make it up to her. She has every reason to go and talk to some other guy. But i seriously want to give her the care she showed me.
She agreed to meet me and try again later on to see if i have changed, and she said she would talk to me today and im still waiting, but she also said that when i gave her the flowers that i was just trying to buy her back. It made me cry. She told my friend “hes so dumb, he doesnt get it. I just want to be friends” She wants my care without me ignoring her. Which is what im trying to do but i just wish she could see that. Its so hard because i broke her trust before when i broke up with her. This is like the opposite of the boy who cried wolf like I ignored her and ignored her. Now im ready to actually put in effort and she doesnt believe me. Im just stuck. She keeps saying she wants space but im not sure how to show her that after 7 months im finally ready to communicate properly, while also respecting her and giving her space. The problem was effort and im finally ready to put it in. But now its too late. If i give her space then thats good but she will start talking to other guys. I just want to be there for her. She tried so hard for so long. Im just trying to make it right, and give her the effort she put in me. Back to her.
I am worried that she could be talking to other guys because when we met she was dating a guy who didnt form a proper connection. I became her friend and then we got closer, she broke up with him to talk with me. Im worried that ive fucked it up so bad that she is doing that again now, but some other guy is giving her attention, and it is all my fault for not talking to her enough. I just want to make it right. From her point of view if we get back together i will be good for a few days then eventually fail to communicate. But i seriously am ready to put in effort consistently. I have made big changes and have ordered my real estate license course, and will complete it. I have applied to the Uni’s, I have worked out every day. I have gone out more, my problem is i dont know how to show her that i can communicate and show her i have changed when she says she needs space, and when she says to not talk to her for a bit. She has it tough, really really tough with her family, and I want to support her like she supported me all those months. Wheh i see her i want to not just tell her but show her that ive changed. Last night she said she would text tomorrow when she got home from something so I purposely havent texted her to give her as much space as possible. I respect her boundaries. In her eyes I must be not worth the pain that she thinks im going to create.
So yesterday she said we would talk today so when i woke up, she woke up at the same time and we started talking, i said hi and then she said hi, then she said wait before we talk properly give me a second, then she texted me an hour and a half later that she would call me tonight maybe. That now she is going to hang out with (male friend). Of course she can do whatever she wants. She can see whoever she wants but man that hurt. I was going to send a big message but i deleted it and just said, hope you have a good time, she said thankyou. I said talk later :) and she left me on seen. Ive been such a bad boyfriend now she is probably going to fuck this guy right? She isnt like that like she was very loyal during the relationship i just treated her so badly and it hurts me to think about how much i didnt talk to her. Now any guy who talks to her she may as well fuck. Because she fucked a guy who didnt talk to her a lot. So she may as well fuck someone who treats her better. Im just trying to do the right thing by her and make it up to her.
She says we will talk tomorrow or tonight then she doesn’t message. She says its hard to organise as she doesn’t know whats going on but then the next day sees her male friend. I just need one hour with her in person to talk to her. Thats all I want. That day I took the bus down to see her to show that Im willing to put in the effort too, and to see how long it takes by bus. I got there at 6 and knocked on her door until 9 when my phone died so i had to go to a neighbour and ask a stranger to let me charge my phone out of their wall. Then I called my dad to pick me up and take me to her other house with her other set of parents, and neither me or or my dad knew the street, all we knew was that it was near (my old school) so we just drove near (my old school) and looked around all of the streets. Then while we were driving around she texted me saying she was at a bbq and that she just got home so my dad drove me all the way back to her original house. Then she said she didnt want to see me so I asked her to just take the flowers and the note and that she didnt have to say anything to me. She still told me to go home. After a long arguement she took the flowers. Then my dad told me when I got in the car that she didnt look happy and she probably doesnt think that me coming to see her symbolised my putting effort in, and that I was just trying to use money to tempt her. I fucking cried like a little bitch that night man. I just want to give her the care that she gave me and its too late.
On sunday we called for a bit and i told her how much I hurt knowing what ive done to her over a long period of time. She told me how I used to be nice and I used to be funny at the start. But it all went away. I hurt her so bad, she just wants to be happy. I could move on and in a few months she would realised I have improved myself and my communication skills, but it would be too late. I would be at uni. If she doesnt want to talk to me now then I am never going to talk to her again. I just want to see if there is a chance that I can make things right. She tried so hard for so long, I just want to give that back to her. Every night i replay our entire relationship in my head and all the mistakes ive made. I cry and cry over how much i have hurt her. My one wish is to give her the care that she showed me for so long. Of course its her life and I cant control it at all. She can see whoever she wants.
I can move on whenever I want. I am going to uni soon and there will be plenty of socialising. I just want to give it one last shot now that I know how to communicate, I dont want all of her effort to be for nothing. I really genuinely care for her and I want to give back what she gave me.
Today she is hanging out with (male friend) and I am not busy, I hadnt planned anything because I thought we were going to talk. I want to go and see her in person just to get that across that I really do care and I really have changed. She hasnt planned a time for us to meet in real life and I cant stand crying every night at what I have done. I cry during my sleep and wake up with my face wet and my pillow drenched. I woke up this morning and drank two water bottles full of water. I just cant believe how bad i have fucked things up. I just need an hour in person to explain to her that I have changed, or even at the very least that I know what I did was wrong. I cant sleep until i make things right. If i can just get even 20 minutes in person with her I can get over it and never talk to her again if she wants to. Or I can explain that I have worked hard on it, and we can slowly talk again. Do you think once she gets home I should go and see what her decision is? If someone comes to see you on their own accord then she probably will see that as me caring as well. I just cant wait any longer, she can have all the space in the world and date someone else if she doesnt believe me that I have changed, but i just want her to see my actions, that I have. She may still say no and ill move on. But should i go today and ask her to tell me if I should just fuck off or if we can slowly talk again. She never organises a time, i ask and ask and she just says she isnt sure whats going on,
then she hangs out with other people. My friends have told me that I should just wait until she calls me tonight and if she does, to ask her on the phone to meet tomorrow. Keep in mind we met when I was 17 and she was 16, now Im 18 and she will be 17 in january. I live in and australian city and she lives in a suburb about an hour and a half away.
TLDR: I fucked up, and I really do genuinely care for this girl, and I finally have the guts to put in consistent effort. Do you think its too late and I should just leave it and meet someone new at university, or if its worth one last shot. I want to give it one last shot now that I know how to treat her better.
Thankyou for your time.
submitted by Bonsai6667 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.12.02 03:19 helpcreepylandlady Have You Ever Heard of a Game Called Relevancy?

If you’re a social media influencer or you spend a lot of time on the Internet, you may have heard of an urban legend about a game called Relevancy.
 
I must admit that, when my friend Andrea first told me about it over a year ago, I thought it must be some kind of joke at my expense. I’ve been trying to make it as a live streamer for the past 3 years and I have a modest following, so it stung to think that there was some important aspect of online culture that I wasn’t aware of.
To add insult to injury, my friend runs a popular vegan food blog and is far more successful than I am, so it felt like she might have been rubbing it in. About how she’s ‘in the know’ and I’m not. You get the idea.
When I told her that I didn’t know what she was talking about, she gave me a once over and arched her thick eyebrows.
 
"You really don’t know?" she said, and a prickly heat ran up my spine. We’ve been friends ever since 9th Grade Biology, when we were paired together and she handed me a pink barrette because my fringe looked ‘shabby.’ That was coincidentally the same day that she decided to stop eating meat, after throwing up all over the frog we were meant to dissect. I love her, but each year she finds fresh ways to test my patience.
"You know, in the time you’ve taken to make me feel bad about this, you could have told me about the stupid game by now," I said, and I watched as her bright green eyes widened. Let her be offended. I was in the right.
"Well, with that attitude, maybe I won’t tell you about it at all," she said, crossing her arms. In the sunlight, they looked like two slender branches that had become entangled.
"Fine, I don’t care either way," I said with a shrug. Staring straight ahead, I could feel her eyes boring into the side of my face. With each step, her breathing sharpened, until she let out a short huff and stopped dead in her tracks.
"Do you want to hear it or not?" her voice rose and fell like the waves. I smiled. She was too easy. I nodded, and spent the next twenty minutes enraptured by what she told me. It seemed so real and tangible, yet there was just that hint of the unbelievable, the magical, that landed it firmly within the realm of urban legend.
 
The name of the game is Relevancy.
 
You don’t get invited to play unless you meet specific criteria, and I mean very specific. You have to be an influencer of some description, you must have 10k+ followers on at least two of your social media accounts, you need to meet the beauty algorithm’s standards of conventional attractiveness, and you have to be between the ages of 21 and 35.
The list goes on, but these are the core requirements before you’ll even be considered for a coveted place in the game. This isn’t something you just can sign up for either. Each player in the game will have been hand-selected. Once you’ve been chosen, you will receive an email from a shadowy organisation known only as The Agency, where you’ll be asked to agree to the Terms and Conditions of the game.
For the duration of the game, each participant will be paid $10,000 per day to cover their expenses and aid in promoting themselves. In exchange, the participant will be required to host a number of special events and contests dictated by The Agency. The participant agrees to do whatever The Agency asks of him/her throughout the entire duration of the game.
Based on performance, participants will be eliminated from the game one by one, until a winner emerges. The winner will receive the full endorsement of The Agency. If the rumours are to be believed, all of your favourite YouTube stars and live streamers and bloggers were all once Agency winners. You know who I’m talking about.
 
"How did you find out about all of this?" I asked, hungry for more details. Fantasy though it was, the thought of that kind of sponsorship made me dizzy with glee. Andrea’s face lit up as she slipped a well-manicured hand into her jean pocket and produced her mobile phone.
There was the satisfying click of her nails against the screen as she typed in her passcode. Her eyes darted back and forth as she swiped in a series of smooth gestures before holding the phone up to my face. It was an email.
 
You have been invited to take part in this year’s game of Relevancy.
 
"I got an invite," she said. When she was animated like this, her voice had a tinkling quality, like the chiming of bells. I took the phone out of her hand.
"This has to be fake," I said, scrutinising the email. A lump formed in my throat as I reached the bottom and saw that she had replied. She had agreed to join the game, without consulting me first. Without even breathing a word of it to me.
"Don’t be so jealous," she said, snatching the phone out of my hand, "besides, I know it’s real. I received the first payment today. I can show you my bank account if you still don’t believe me."
"Whatever," I turned away as hot tears welled up in my eyes. I should be happy for her. Why couldn’t I be happy for her?
"Why can’t you just be happy for me?" she said, flailing her branch-like arms in wild gestures of contempt. I pulled my hood up as the tears tracked their way down my face. I could taste the salt in my mouth, but I couldn’t wipe them away, or else she’d know I was crying.
"I thought you of all people would know how much this means," her tone had softened, and there was a twinge of hurt, "but forget about it." She took one last look at me, but I kept my face shielded behind my hood. I heard a sigh and the click-clack of her boots on the pavement as she walked away.
 
The next day, I tried reaching out to her to apologise, but she wouldn’t respond to my texts or pick up my calls. A month went by in this way. Each day that passed, I felt the guilt rise up inside of me like a cancer seizing at my heart. I followed her social media with a relentless fervour, keeping track on her every move, making sure she was okay. From what I could tell, she was having the time of her life without me.
I noticed that her recipes had become more ambitious and increased in calibre. She must have been able to afford all of those fancy ingredients she had told me about now that she was part of the game. She wanted me to be happy for her, she thought of me as a close friend, but she didn’t include me in the biggest decision of her life. As she climbed that gilded ladder, she wasn’t going to give her oldest friend a leg-up.
Along with guilt, another emotion crept its way into my heart and seeped into every aspect of my being. It is green-eyed and it is monstrous. It gnawed at me day and night, until there was only a husk of me left. I would stare with dark-rimmed eyes into the glare of those screens until I saw the sunrise.
 
That was until I saw her post about an upcoming livestream event. Andrea hated doing livestream events. She found them tacky.
 
The event was called "Fan Fight."
 
It was a public event and I knew I had to join. I had to see Andrea again, even if I couldn’t speak to her. I logged on that night and what I saw made me sick to my stomach.
There was Andrea, her face caked in make-up, alongside some other influencer who I didn’t recognise. She was in some kind of bizarre maid outfit that was so tight it looked as though parts of her body were caked in black tar. As she lifted a hand to wave at her followers, I saw the bony wrist and the veins like purple threads running down her fingers.
"Hey there my little devils, are we ready to show our love for Miss Andrea?" she said in a sing-song voice, clasping her hands together. Her cheeks hollowed out as she smiled.
Something was horribly wrong. Andrea would never address her fans as "little devils." She would gag every time she heard someone address themselves in the third person. And what was she wearing?
"I’m here with my bestest friend Kitty Kat Black for a bit of friendly competition," her eyes flickered across the screen and, as they landed on a particular point, her smile dissipated. She shook her head to regain her composure and that grin cut across her face once again.
"Now, we all know the rules," her friend, who was wearing what looked like a thrift store cat costume, chimed in, "you make a donation pledge based on something you want to see us do or say and, if we agree to it, you have to pay up bucko. Remember, no requests for us to take our clothes off. The one with the most money in the bank at the end of the stream wins the Fan Fight. Are we ready?"
 
The pair of them nodded in tandem and there was a buzzing sound to signal that the competition had started.
At first, the requests were mild. The bulk of them were for shout-outs to several fans, each time for chump change. It was once we reached the midnight mark that the suggestions began to get dark.
 
Suck on Kitty Kat’s thumb. One pledge read. $50.
I watched as Andrea giggled, her right eye twitching faintly. She wrapped her mouth around that fat thumb and her lipstick smeared as she made her way down to the base.
I want to see Kitty Kat slap herself in the face. $25.
There was a loud smack. The skin on one side of the girl’s face puckered red.
$100 for Miss Andrea, but only if you eat one of Kitty Kat’s chicken nuggets.
With a trembling hand, Andrea pinched a nugget between her forefinger and her thumb. Lifting it off of the plate, she pressed it to her lips, winced, and forced it into her mouth. The sound of her laboured chewing was unbearable. She paused for a moment before smiling at the camera, giving a thumbs up, and swallowing hard.
 
The evening became a circus, with each act more degrading than the last. As it drew to a close, both women looked as though they had been hollowed out.
"Miss Andrea, it seems that you’re over $300 behind me," Kitty Kat Black said, "and with only 10 minutes left to go, you’re going to need a miracle to catch up."
Andrea’s eyes were wider now. There was something visceral and animalistic about her reaction to what her co-star had just said. She wrung her pale hands together with such aggression that one of her nails snapped off.
 
I had to do something.
 
I typed out the message as fast as possible and clicked send. Kitty Kat Black let out a sharp gasp.
"Miss Andrea, it seems miracles do come true! You’ve received a pledge for $500,2 she said, beads of sweat forming on her brow, "but all the pledge says is 'call me back.' Do you know who it might be from?"
"No," Andrea said, her tone hard.
"No you don't know or-"
"No, I'm not doing that."
"Are you sure?" Kitty Kat Black’s cheeks flexed as she smiled wider.
"I said no," Andrea’s gaze dropped to the floor and she waved at her co-star in a dismissive gesture.
"Alright, well it’s your funeral," for a moment, Kitty Kat Black’s mask faltered as she spoke. Straightening herself back up, she resumed her courtship of her fans until the livestream was over.
For the last ten minutes, Andrea did not speak or even look up at the screen. She knew she had lost.
 
I stayed up for the rest of the night hoping that my phone would ring. It didn’t. I woke up bleary-eyed the next day, wondering if the whole thing had been a dream. I pulled my phone close to my face to check if I had any missed calls when I heard a ping.
Someone by the name of ‘Tobias’ had sent me a video. I didn’t know anyone with that name and I was ready to dismiss it as spam, but my curiosity overwhelmed me. I opened the message and there was Andrea, silhouetted in darkness. The video was only about a minute long. Even in that dim light, I could see the streaks in that thick foundation where tears had been. I could see her trembling hands and her bloodshot eyes. This is what she said:
 
"Chelsea, you know I love you. I’m so sorry for not getting in touch sooner. This has all been so crazy. I wanted to reach out to you last night, but I couldn’t risk having them find out about you and what you mean to me. I don’t know what’s going to happen to me, but I needed you to know that I love you so much and I want to see you again. I want everything to go back to the way it was. If they try to contact you, you have to ignore them. Delete the emails, go to the police, do what you have to do. Please trust me on this. God, I miss you."
 
The last 30 seconds were made up of her sobbing before shutting off the camera. I must have watched that snippet of footage over a hundred times, and each time it broke my heart.
 
I went to her flat and started banging on the door. No answer. I called her mobile in loops, hanging up and re-dialling as soon as I reached voicemail. I managed to get in touch with her parents, but they hadn’t heard from her since the previous night. I went to the police and they told me I needed to wait for 24 hours before filing a missing person’s report. You best believe I was there the next day, bright and early, with my pen at the ready. I knew something wasn’t right. I knew I had to see Andrea again.
 
That was one year ago. No one has seen Andrea since that livestream event.
 
A few months ago, I hosted a 24-hour stream where I played games with some other low ranking influencers in order to raise money for a charity that helps the families of missing people.
I don’t know what possessed me to do this but, during the stream, I spoke about my experiences with Andrea. About all of the hours I’d spent crying, tearing my hair out, begging the police to do more. It must have struck a chord, because most of Andrea’s old followers migrated to my account, and many more came with them from who knows where.
I now have a healthy following and am on track to making a career out of what I love. All it cost me was my best friend.
 
I received an email today. There was no subject and no name attached to the address. When I opened it and read the first line, I felt a coldness rise through my body.
 
You have been invited to take part in this year’s game of Relevancy.
submitted by helpcreepylandlady to nosleep [link] [comments]


2020.12.01 23:25 GIBBII I fucked up. Big time. Or that's what I thought.

Disclaimer: this long shit is about love and friendship so if you're not into that don't even bother reading it.
You know how people tell you to always be honest about your feelings no matter what? Yeah, well that shit usually doesn't end well. There could be exceptions of course. (Update: and there are)
I am a boy, 19. I was an introvert throughout my whole life. I had some friends whom I would call friends back in elementary school but those friendships faded away.
Since then I didn't have any friends.
But in my current school there is a girl who is my classmate and we have been having really good friend talks over the last five years. Especially in this last one. We would talk almost every day about pretty much everything. And I really enjoyed it because she was the only person I talked to in such a serious way. Not just some random stupid talk with the boys and stuff. Genuine, personal talks.
Throughout the years I've had romantic feelings towards her but recently I let go of them (partly because she now has a boyfriend) and I realised that we are much better off as friends and nothing more. I truly charished this friendship as one of the most important things in my life.
I enjoy writing poems in my free time. About people, the (negative) aspects of life, my feelings etc. It helps me organise my thoughts. You know... a lot of people write down their problems.
And I would share these poems with her to get her opinion on them.
Well this has been the case up until today. After 5 years I have written a few romantic poems again. And as a dumbass would do I sent them to her not realising that despite the nice metaphors and symbols and hidden stuff she would still put the pieces together.
And although we now have talked it through and she reassured me that it's okay and we are still best friends and that she feels better because she always knew I was hiding something, I still fear I've damaged our friendship.
Update before posting: When I started writing this I felt really troubled but now I had the deepest and most personal conversation of my life with her and I am at a better place now. Communication and honesty. That's all I can say.
submitted by GIBBII to teenagers [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 22:51 sidlydidly Colleagues being off with me

So I used to work at a coffee shop and I was really good friends with my colleague ( I'll call her B). She was a manger for a good bit and all was good but I wanted a change so I left. She stepped down as manager and a few people came in and out of the role. I had a few bumps in the road and a pretty hard time mentally and work wise. I didn't really keep in touch much or really maintained our friendship. I feel terrible about it, but life was really hectic for me and I fell out of touch with alot of people.
After a good year and a half B saw me and told me to apply for the Mangers role at the shop. This was my dream, I went for it and got the job.
Now, things are obviously different and is getting some taking used to but shes being so different with me. Only talking to me about work related things but like leading me on to engage in friendship at the same time. I said to her that we should do something after work and she just brushes it off. She knows I was going through a difficult time so I can't understand why she is giving me these vibes.
A girl we worked with was leaving and I tried to organise a meal for us and no one could make it. They all went for a meal together with an old manager this past weekend and it really hurt.
I obviously know I need to talk to her but I just get the vibe she just doesn't like me very much. So there may be no point in pouring my heart out about all of this if she doesn't care. But I have no idea why she wanted me to take this job and work with me all the time.
submitted by sidlydidly to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 01:57 dnaisdmt Girls, can you tell if there is chemistry with someone off messages alone? Had a date called off..

So i (M22) matched with a girl (F19) on Bumble, we talked on Facebook for a week or so and had a date organised. Our messages were pretty surface level, just getting to know each other, i don't think i said anything outlandish, just talking about our hobbies, what we have been up to etc. Then a day before we were supposed to meet she messages me saying she doesn't think she can make it for the date as she believes there is nothing between us, and then apologies, saying she never meant to waste my time and wished me luck going forward. What is your hint about what happened? I find it hard to believe you can tell if your interested in someone before even meeting. Do you think she just got cold feet? Or something else?
submitted by dnaisdmt to OnlineDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.30 01:39 anagrama_ When the narc tells you that YOU are the narcissist.

Ok, today I'll talk to you about the hardest part.
With my nex, there were fights, and tough fights. Tough fights happened after the first year of our relationship and came back for the next 2 years, every months at least. During these fights, it was rough, very rough. She just wanted me to shut up, but I couldn't. My problem is that I can't accept to end up an argument with something that is obviously wrong. For exemple, she told me things like :
"- You don't even love me !
and, instead of just leaving, or ignoring it, I answered
"-How could you say that ? I tells you I love you every morning, I do everything for you, I drive you to your family when you need it (we're talking 3 hours of driving), I buy you presents everytime I see something you might like and can afford it, I hug you, kiss you everytime, I organise things for you, cook for you, I even do your laundry when you have too much work !"
I know it's not really nice to draw a list of how good you are to someone, but I couldn't help myself. I needed her to understand that I couldn't go from the perfect to the horrible boyfriend so sudenly and she answered :
-"What do you want ? A medal ? You don't treat me correctly, you're a bad person and you try to hide it with good stuffs, but mostly you talk to me like trash ! Look at you, the way you talk to me, liesten to your voice and hear how mean you are !"
and everytime I tried to argue with her, because I could not stand it when she said I was mean and didn't loved her, and tried to reason with her, it ended up with her crying, putting her hands on her ears, her head on her knee, her eyes closed, as if liestening to me was hell. And then, she said it :
-"You're just a narc who wants to drives me crazy."
It hurted me so much, I think she knew it, and that's why she said it. She knew I couldn't stand to be a bad person, and it would drives me crazy. It's not a question of image, it's just me. I try to be good, and it's important to me.
Anyway, she called me a narc and never left me. She stayed, and when we were not fighting, I asked her :
"- Do you remember you called me a narc xxx days ago ?
- Yes
- Why did you said this ?
- Because you were mean and I needed you to stop talking.
- You did this so you can make me stop talking ?
- Yes.
- So you understand you were, somehow, manipulating me ?
- Don't try to reverse the situation here. You're the manipulator and I said this because you were a narc at this particular moment.
- I don't understand you say I'm a narc, but only when we fight ?
- Yes.
- So why do you stay with me ?
- I don't know."
I was devastated. I felt like shit, like a shitty man who was keeping a poor girl with him, against her will, because he was manipulating her. And needless to day that the final answer, this "I don't know" is like a punch on the face. She even told me, at the beginning of our relationship :

- Did you manipulated me, to make me fall in love with you ?

So maybe she's right ? Maybe I'm nothing but a liar ! I mean, I can find moments when I told a lesser truth...
Hopefuly, I have a shrink I see for years. I told him about the fights and as he saw me getting really bad. Some day, (it took me months to ask him because I was ashamed) I told him my girlfriend said I was a narc. He laught and said :
- No, you're not a narc, I know you for years, I am your therapist for years and I can assure you, I'm 200% sure you are NOT a narc."
I was pretty happy, but it did not last at all. I get home heavy, I wasn't sure of what my shrink said. Maybe he was wrong ?
I even asked friends about it (I talk a lot with my friends, it kept me sane, and still does) and all of them said that I was way too empathic to be a narc, and that they didn't believe it.
But still, I wasn't sure of myself, I needed my girlfriend to tell me she was just mad, and that she used words but didn't really mean it. So I did something stupid. I asked again the person I loved, the girl who I lived with, and who, I thought, knew me better than anyone else.
- You remember when you told me I was a narc ? Well it hurted me verry bad, and don't know how to get rid of this sensation. So do you really think I am a narc ?
- Yes. But not always, only when we fight.
- I don't get it, but well, I know I'm not a narc and let me tell you that what you said really marked me greatly so I talked to my shrink about it. He told me I was not a narc.
- Yeah, that's normal, because you manipulate your shrink. If it was me talking to him, he would say you're a crazy person.

It was the final kick to my sanity.

I've been stupid, I gave her the weapon to hurt me with. I gave her my safe space, and she just destroyed it. Instantanly.
My life became so shitty, I can't put words on it. With my friends, my coworkers, even in normal days I was sure I was crazy. I didn't know how to talk to people, because I was too afraid to tell lies without even realising it. If you add to all this the fact that she told me that I had a distorded perception of reality, I was really going crazy. In the end, I didn't even know if a conversation I just had was real or not.
Needless to say, all my following sessions with my shring have been reaaally weird. Even if I felt good during the session, I always felt bad afterwards. like "Yeah, he said I'm not a bad person but what if I just manipulate him ? Maybe he's totally wrong and I'm evil !"
But something strange happened : my therapist started to anticipate reactions from my girlfriends. Like he knew exactly when she would get mad, and how she would react to very specific things. like "ok, you can tell her that you don't feel comfortable about this particular thing, but it's very likely that she'll get mad at you, take her stuff and leave. Will you be able to handle it ?" And it happened. All-the-time.
But still I couldn't leave, I wanted to fix this relationship, I was sure I could do something, I was sure I had a problem, that I was unable to talk to her, abd that I needed to find a way not to get her so mad, because I was sure I somehow deserved it. One day, my therapist saw I was getting really worse. I had to take antidepressants,and it didn't happened to me since nearly 10 years and I didn't understand where it was coming from. He finaly told me that, according to him, I was suffering from a strong narcissistic abuse, and that the abuser was my girlfriend.
He explained me all he could about narcissistic desorder, gave me videos to watch, books to read, and told me that if I felt he was right, if I recongnised myself on the testimonies and explainations, I needed to go away as fast and far as possible from my girlfriend.
That's what I did, we broke up in february, I only start to feel better now, but sometimes, I still hear this voice telling me that I'm the narc, and I still think that maybe she's right and I just don't deserve to be loved.

EDIT : I just remember, and I don't know how I could forget it. During our last fight, I tried to explain that she was wrong and telling lies, and she said "You're such a bad person, what you do is wrong, I'm gonna call the police and put you in jail, you deserve to be in jail not to be free !" I can't tell you how frightening it was whe she said this...
submitted by anagrama_ to NarcissisticAbuse [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 22:53 Offtyeah Should I give up on this girl or is there hope?

I matched with a girl on Tinder and we talked for a couple of weeks before I took her on our first date. We went to a lookout and had some wine together and we ended up spending about 5 hours together. I felt like our conversation was good and I ended up going away from the date really smitten. When I dropped her off she gave me a kiss on the lips and in conversation the next day on text mentioned "Last night was super nice btw! Very cute spot".
It has been 5 days since the date , but whenever I bring up seeing her again or organising a second date she then takes a little while to reply and a couple of times has completely ignored it. To be honest I had kind of given up and was ready to just forget about her but she replied the following evening when she was having drinks with friends saying "Sorry I crashed last night. How has your day been ? xx". I replied to her text and we then were texting each other all of last night when she was drunk.
We had planned on possibly seeing each other tonight if she wasn't too hungover but she text me before saying that she is too wrecked to do something tonight and that it will have to wait for another time which is fair enough but if she was interested surely she would ask me and give me a different day?
I'm really confused..Surely if she liked me she would want to see me as much as I want to see her? I kind of feel like I am not the only person she is talking to and that maybe I am a 2nd option or something as there are periods where she doesnt reply to me for a few hours/ whole nights. Maybe i need to relax but I do really like the idea of this girl. What is this girl doing with these mixed signals and what should i do?
submitted by Offtyeah to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 22:49 Offtyeah What is this girl doing and should I give up hope with her?

I matched with a girl on Tinder and we talked for a couple of weeks before I took her on our first date. We went to a lookout and had some wine together and we ended up spending about 5 hours together. I felt like our conversation was good and I ended up going away from the date really smitten. When I dropped her off she gave me a kiss on the lips and in conversation the next day on text mentioned "Last night was super nice btw! Very cute spot".
It has been 5 days since the date , but whenever I bring up seeing her again or organising a second date she then takes a little while to reply and a couple of times has completely ignored it. To be honest I had kind of given up and was ready to just forget about her but she replied the following evening when she was having drinks with friends saying "Sorry I crashed last night. How has your day been ? xx". I replied to her text and we then were texting each other all of last night when she was drunk.
We had planned on possibly seeing each other tonight if she wasn't too hungover but she text me before saying that she is too wrecked to do something tonight and that it will have to wait for another time which is fair enough but if she was interested surely she would ask me and give me a different day?
I'm really confused..Surely if she liked me she would want to see me as much as I want to see her? I kind of feel like I am not the only person she is talking to and that maybe I am a 2nd option or something as there are periods where she doesnt reply to me for a few hours/ whole nights. Maybe i need to relax but I do really like the idea of this girl. What is this girl doing with these mixed signals and what should i do?
submitted by Offtyeah to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 21:20 xtinamaniac Episode 8 - "Reunited!"

Episode 8 -
🎶 One dream, the will to fight...
Xtina: "Welcome to Xtina's Drag Race: Reunited! Tonight, our queens will be sounding off on all the highs and lows from Season Two of Xtina's Drag Race!
Firstly, let's welcome our legendary cast to the stage!
Orange you glad to see her? It's RepresentativeWin91!
Fresh outta the Haus of Luzon, let's welcome back CelestialWizard07!
Diamonds are her best friend, it's ShaankZ!
Fried, scrambled or poached - we love her anyway, it's flushedawayegg!
Oi oi oi it's our Miss Congenality, presenting sharris2475!
And now presenting our top 3,
For her, we have all the time in the world - it's AustralianChrono!
She's our queen for one thousand and one nights, it's thesharialaw!
And presenting our winner, the one and only SquazieSoupe!"
The girls applaud each other.
Xtina: "Now this season was one of the craziest, funniest and draggiest of them all! RepresentativeWin91 although you went home first, how did you find this season?"
"I loved it, it was a thumbs up from me! It was so good being a part of it," says RepresentativeWin91.
Xtina: "Now in the first episode, your lipsync was a little... DOA. What happened there?"
"I was super nervous and you know, it's not every day that I lipsync! So I just sort of felt very out of my depth," says RepresentativeWin91.
"But... this is a drag competition. You gotta know how to lipsync girl," interjects flushedawayegg.
"Well... yeah," says RepresentativeWin91.
Xtina: "Alrighty then, now CelestialWizard07! You had an interesting time in this competition. You had our first ever double shantay and sadly you went home the following week. How did you feel afterwards?"
"I was shocked, I really thought I would make it all the way to the end," says CelestialWizard07, "like... I come from a prestigious house and it was really nervewracking thinking about how I was going to be received."
Xtina: "Yes, the infamous Manila Luzon is your drag mother. Well, CelestialWizard07, we have a little surprise for you. Take a look."

🏁 Manila Luzon Hey Celestial! It's me, Manila Luzon! I want you to pack your bags and get the hell OUT! Only joking... catch me on my podcast with Latrice!
"Aahhh!" laughs CelestialWizard07.
"The fuck was that?" whispers flushedawayegg.
Xtina: "Now ShaankZ, you had quite a decent run, but sadly your Snatch Game performance sent you home. Let's take a look."

ShaankZ: "I'm so happy to be here, this is the first gig that's not been a rehab clinic or AA in five years. I'm ready to sing where is the microphone? wOoOoOoo"
Michelle: "Your Snatch Game, for me, was not as stellar as the other queens'. I wish we could have seen more from you..."
Xtina: "How would you have done things differently?"
"I would bring my A game from the start, like being confident in yourself is so important," says ShaankZ, "All these girls showed up from the start, so maybe All Stars 1 I'll be super prepared to slay!"
Xtina: "Now whilst the Snatch Game episode was airing, Lindsay Lohan herself tweeted out in your support. Let's take a look at that!"

https://preview.redd.it/6t2r3p7t47261.png?width=914&format=png&auto=webp&s=e9ca97ed8f8e5e9db841743d24beb71e977dd873
Xtina: "That must have been an amazing feeling, right?"
"I was over the moon! To think that the queen of ecstasy was watching this little show and supporting me!" says ShaankZ.
Xtina: "Little?"
"Oh no she didn't..." chuckles flushedawayegg.
Xtina: "I kid of course. Now, this season we had a whole lotta drama. Our next queen was at the centre of most of it. Let's take a look."

🏁 AustralianChrono Flushedawayegg was the one who was backstabbing me behind my back... and the reason why my prestigious title was snatched away from me.
"Oh... hey bitch." says flushedawayegg, walking past AustralianChrono and hugging the other girls.
...
"Girl you carry on with that and you'll keep landing in the bottom, just like your pageant career, except this time I won't be there to get you a first alternate win." says AustralianChrono.
"The girls are fighting..." laughs SquazieSoupe.
"Shut the fuck up Chrono," says flushedawayegg, "this is why they took that damn title off you, ho! You couldn't keep those fat pussy lips closed!"
Xtina: "So, flushedawayegg and AustralianChrono - let's set the record straight. Why don't you tell us the tea?"
"Well Xtina, Chrono won a presitious pageant in 2017, she did not fufil her obligations and the organisation decided to give the title to me, the first alternate." says AustralianChrono, "That's basically it, really."
"Well it was not as simple as that. I am a businesswoman, I have loads of things going on. For a couple of events, I was not able to be there because I had other competitions I was running. Meanwhile, flushedawayegg went behind my back and starting talking smack to the organisation about me. Then I ended up losing my title." says AustralianChrono.
Xtina: "Now both of you saw how the drama played out on TV - what did you think of it, watching it back?"
"I thought it was so embarrassing. Egg is a grown ass person," says AustralianChrono, "However, since the show aired, we did get in touch and ironed out some issues between us."
"That's not true! Not true!" screams flushedawayegg, "She is still damn steam pressed over it! I am teeling you!"
"Did she give you your title back though?" laughs CelestialWizard07.
"Absolutely not bitch!" says flushedawayegg, pulling out and wearing her Miss Ultimate Drag 2017 sash.
Xtina: "Oh she came ready! Now our next week pulled off an amazing feat, which sadly ended with her being eliminated right before the finale. sharris2475 - how was the whole experience for you?"
"I loved every second of it, it was so thrilling. The viewers don't understand that when it says Drag Race, it truly is a RACE girl. I was putting on my eyeliner and the next minute I have to be spraying fucking perfume on my fanny, it was too much! But an amazing experience," says sharris2475.
Xtina: "That is good to know, and you ended up taking the title of Miss Congeniality!"
"I did, and I spoke to my predecessor, StoryFae, who told me that the title means way more than the sash... it also means a booking fee bump! Okay!" laughs sharris2475.
Xtina: "That's amazing, we are so proud of you. Now our next queen slayed the runway week on week and sailed her way to the top three, it's thesharialaw! How was the experience for you?"
"I loved every second of it, it was such a great experience and I am so happy with how I did," says thesharialaw, "And of course, the winning queen was very well deserving of the crown."
"Aww thanks girl," says SquazieSoupe.
Xtina: "Now on Snatch Game, you played the one and only Jameela Jamil."
"Oh god, yes..." says thesharialaw.
Xtina: "Well we have a surprise for you... check this out."
🏁 Jameela Jamil Hello, my name is Jameela Jamil. I was a victim of ableism, sexism and bigotry following an impersonation that someone did of me during a television show called–
thesharialaw gasps.
Xtina: "Ah sorry, I think there was an error with that video, um... we'll be back after the break!"

Hahahahaha!
Xtina: "Welcome back to Xtina's Drag Race: Reunited! Now this season culminated in a sickening lipsync and SquazieSoupe taking the crown! SquazieSoupe, how has your hometown responded to the win?"
"So surreal! Everyone back home was so happy for me. You know, I'm just a girl from Indiana, but looking back on the season and seeing all the great things I did... it just feels so good." says SquazieSoupe.
Xtina: "Now you mentioned Blair St Clair in your crowning, she was of course one of the big queens from Indiana to do drag... and we have a surprise for you!"

🏁 Blair St Clair Hello Squazie! It's me, Blair! I am so happy for your win! Bringing it home to the Indiana queens! Can't wait for your album! Kisses!
"Haha.. she's a mess, isn't she?" says SquazieSoupe.
Xtina: "Now not to dampen any high spirits but... one of the biggest dramas this season involved you and AustralianChrono. Let's take a look."
"Oh dear," says AustralianChrono.

"I think Squazie has been great, but this week? She bombed, and hard. I don’t see the style America’s next drag superstar should have.” says AustralianChrono.
The camera cuts to SquazieSoupe, gritting her teeth.
...
"... but I am surprised that you said I should go home tonight, AustralianChrono," says SquazieSoupe.
...
"Girl don't do this," says AustralianChrono, "we were asked a question and I gave an honest answer."
"Well the fact that it as honest, just shows me that you don't care or support anything I do," says SquazieSoupe.
"Oh dear," says AustralianChrono, rolling her eyes.
Xtina: "How does it feel, watching that back?"
"I still stand by my opinion. Squazie is a sickening queen, but I am sorry, she was the weakest that challenge and she had to lipsync as a result." says AustralianChrono.
"I mean for me... it hurt. You made me feel like shit," says SquazieSoupe, "But you know, it's all water under the bridge. We spoke about it after the show aired, and it's all settled. No bad feelings here."
Xtina: "Well you are both sickening queens, so I am glad you managed to squash your beef. AustralianChrono, you especially have been a stellar queen throughout this season. How did it feel to get to the finale?"
"You know, it was a rocky ride, but getting there and doing the final lipsync was so thrilling. I do not regret taking part in this show at all, it was brilliant," says AustralianChrono.
Xtina: "Now I heard the support for you back home in Australia was sensational!"
"Yes, I had so many people reaching out to me and saying how proud they were of me." says AustralianChrono.
Xtina: "Well a little Aussie birdie told me that someone actually vandalised the Sydney Opera House in your support... let's take a look!"

https://preview.redd.it/ofdwgwhgj8261.jpg?width=940&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=88e38239e4d4cf158b2681fc4b415a756933a37d
"That is amazing!" laughs AustralianChrono.
Xtina: "It's time for another break! When we come back, we will be checking out some never-seen-before footage and ending the season with a little game we call Toot or Boot! See you in a bit!"

Hahahahaha!
Xtina: ""Welcome back to Xtina's Drag Race: Reunited! Now in such a stellar season, there were many moments which did not make the final cut. Let's take a look at some deleted scenes.

AustralianChrono rips her communist cousin costume.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..." says AustralianChrono.
"Here girl, I have some spare fabric," says sharris2475.
"Now girl I know you're not giving me your slutty lace fabric trying to get me thrown in the bottom!" laughs AustralianChrono.
...
Xtina: "Hey Michelle, what's that in your bra?"
Michelle: "Oh shit what is this? Chocolate syrup?"
Xtina: "Hahahaha!"
Michelle: "I want you leave and never come back."
...
Xtina: "Now I heard some of y'all were dissing my fragrances."
"Yes..." says SquazieSoupe.
Automoderator: "I have smelt them, they are awful Xtina, you need to sack your team."
Xtina: "My fragrances pay for my mortgage! Bitch bye!"
Xtina: "Haha alright, I guess there was a reason why they were left on the cutting room floor. Now let's play a game of Toot or Boot! I will show everyone a runway look and you need to tell me if you toot it or boot it! Okay, first up let's have a look at this glamour shot from CelestialWizard07!

"I am walking down the runway with my head held up high and bitch I am owning it. Opulence I own everything, honey."
"That was a TOOT honey!" says CelestialWizard07.
"You can't toot yourself," laughs sharris2475.
"Girl we were in quarantine for two weeks, you CAN toot yourself!" laughs CelestialWizard07.
"I loved this, it was a toot from me," says ShaankZ.
Xtina: "Alright next up, we have this stunning makeover from thesharialaw!

"I wanted to do an all red look in my signature silhouette and I brought my own crown because if you can't crown your makeover partner how in the hell is anybody gonna crown you?"
"SHOOT!" says SquazieSoupe.
"I agree, it was a shoot dot com!" says RepresentativeWin91.
"A toot from me, but my red dresses were way better," says AustralianChrono.
Xtina: Alright then, last but not least, let's take a look at this lovely 2-in-1 from ShaankZ!

"This is showing two ways of fierce, as soon as that belt falls off, the top turns inside out and the dress is revealed. She came to twiiiiiiirl."
"I quite liked it... it's a safe toot from me," says flushedawayegg.
"I love you but... this was not the one." says sharris2475, "It's a boot - sorry!"
Xtina: "Ha ha, alright ladies thank you.
Now tonight we will be revealing the cast of Season Three of Xtina's Drag Race! Do you girls have any tips for the incoming queens?"
"Don't wear orange!" laughs RepresentativeWin91.
"Trust in your mama!" says CelestialWizard07.
"Have faith in yourself, and confidence in your art," says ShaankZ.
"Turn it up, even when the cameras aren't rolling..." chuckles flushedawayegg.
"Being nice goes a long way... and gets you a nice title too," says sharris2475.
"Be the bigger bitch!" laughs AustralianChrono.
"Don't be afraid to eat into your overdraft to buy that $3500 rhinestoned gown girl," says thesharialaw.
"Always come prepared, unlike that bitch Blair St Clair!" smiles SquazieSoupe, caressing her sceptre.
Xtina: "That's it! Season Two is DONE and DUSTED! Thank you for your support everyone, and see you on Season Three very soon! Byesies!"
🎶 Take me up up up up, we can fly tonight!
The queens get up and dance together.
submitted by xtinamaniac to XtinasDragRace [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 10:28 Offtyeah What is this girl doing and should I give up hope with her?

I matched with a girl on Tinder and we talked for a couple of weeks before I took her on our first date. We went to a lookout and had some wine together and we ended up spending about 5 hours together. I felt like our conversation was good and I ended up going away from the date really smitten. When I dropped her off she gave me a kiss on the lips and in conversation the next day on text mentioned "Last night was super nice btw! Very cute spot".
It has been 5 days since the date , but whenever I bring up seeing her again or organising a second date she then takes a little while to reply and a couple of times has completely ignored it. To be honest I had kind of given up and was ready to just forget about her but she replied the following evening when she was having drinks with friends saying "Sorry I crashed last night. How has your day been ? xx". I replied to her text and we then were texting each other all of last night when she was drunk.
We had planned on possibly seeing each other tonight if she wasn't too hungover but she text me before saying that she is too wrecked to do something tonight and that it will have to wait for another time which is fair enough but if she was interested surely she would ask me and give me a different day?
I'm really confused..Surely if she liked me she would want to see me as much as I want to see her? I kind of feel like I am not the only person she is talking to and that maybe I am a 2nd option or something as there are periods where she doesnt reply to me for a few hours/ whole nights. Maybe i need to relax but I do really like the idea of this girl. What is this girl doing with these mixed signals and what should i do?
submitted by Offtyeah to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 10:21 Offtyeah Should I give up on this girl or is there hope?

I matched with a girl on Tinder and we talked for a couple of weeks before I took her on our first date. We went to a lookout and had some wine together and we ended up spending about 5 hours together. I felt like our conversation was good and I ended up going away from the date really smitten. When I dropped her off she gave me a kiss on the lips and in conversation the next day on text mentioned "Last night was super nice btw! Very cute spot".
It has been 5 days since the date , but whenever I bring up seeing her again or organising a second date she then takes a little while to reply and a couple of times has completely ignored it. To be honest I had kind of given up and was ready to just forget about her but she replied the following evening when she was having drinks with friends saying "Sorry I crashed last night. How has your day been ? xx". I replied to her text and we then were texting each other all of last night when she was drunk.
We had planned on possibly seeing each other tonight if she wasn't too hungover but she text me before saying that she is too wrecked to do something tonight and that it will have to wait for another time which is fair enough but if she was interested surely she would ask me and give me a different day?
I'm really confused..Surely if she liked me she would want to see me as much as I want to see her? I kind of feel like I am not the only person she is talking to and that maybe I am a 2nd option or something as there are periods where she doesnt reply to me for a few hours/ whole nights. Maybe i need to relax but I do really like the idea of this girl. What is this girl doing with these mixed signals and what should i do?
submitted by Offtyeah to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 00:05 johnslegers Does anyone still remember the Dutroux case? Dutroux was the "Belgian Epstein" back in the 1990s!

The Dutroux scandal was a major scandal in Belgium that led to mass protects in the country back in the 1990s. There was clear evidence that Dutroux (like Epstein) was someone who provided underage sex slaves for some very powerful people, but this got totally covered up and most people seem to have forgotten about it in the decades that followed...
From Wikipedia :
Documents were released by WikiLeaks that show that large sums of money in different currencies arrived in Michelle Martin's bank account timely linked to the disappearances of the abducted girls. The money was also transferred in foreign currencies from Morocco and Saudi Arabia. Both the transfers and the value of the six properties that Dutroux owned suggested to investigators that he was financed by a larger pedophile and prostitution ring. The Flemish newspaper Nieuwsblad reported that he had committed health-insurance fund fraud, theft, insurance fraud and investments on the stock market and that that had contributed to his wealth.
Also :
The officer leading the investigation, De Baets, said that they followed up on all testimonies the X witnesses had given, in order to determine whether what they said was possible or not and that they came to the conclusion that it was possible that the things had occurred as the witnesses described them. As this took up a lot of resources and time of the police force an inquiry was initiated into the handling of the case, which then again took up as much resources as the investigation of De Baets itself. It was said that: "The suspicion grew that De Baets and others formed part of a sect bent on destabilising the kingdom." So De Baets and large parts of his team were removed from the investigation and sent home on indefinite leave.
And :
[Judge Jean-Marc] Connerotte testified in the Dutroux case on 4 March 2004. He broke down in the witness box stating that there had been high-level murder plots to stop his investigation into the child-sex mafia. He stated that he had to drive in bullet-proof cars and had armed guards around him at all times because shadowy figures from the crime world were threatening him. The police had informed him that murder contracts had been taken out against the prosecutors in the case. He alleged that organised crime methods were used to discredit his work and make sure that the investigation would end in a judicial failure.
Why is no one talking about this case anymore?!
submitted by johnslegers to conspiracy [link] [comments]


2020.11.29 00:03 johnslegers Does anyone still remember the Dutroux case? Dutroux was the "Belgian Epstein" back in the 1990s!

The Dutroux scandal was a major scandal in Belgium that led to mass protects in the country back in the 1990s. There was clear evidence that Dutroux (like Epstein) was someone who provided underage sex slaves for some very powerful people, but this got totally covered up and most people seem to have forgotten about it in the decades that followed...
From Wikipedia :
Documents were released by WikiLeaks that show that large sums of money in different currencies arrived in Michelle Martin's bank account timely linked to the disappearances of the abducted girls. The money was also transferred in foreign currencies from Morocco and Saudi Arabia. Both the transfers and the value of the six properties that Dutroux owned suggested to investigators that he was financed by a larger pedophile and prostitution ring. The Flemish newspaper Nieuwsblad reported that he had committed health-insurance fund fraud, theft, insurance fraud and investments on the stock market and that that had contributed to his wealth.
Also :
The officer leading the investigation, De Baets, said that they followed up on all testimonies the X witnesses had given, in order to determine whether what they said was possible or not and that they came to the conclusion that it was possible that the things had occurred as the witnesses described them. As this took up a lot of resources and time of the police force an inquiry was initiated into the handling of the case, which then again took up as much resources as the investigation of De Baets itself. It was said that: "The suspicion grew that De Baets and others formed part of a sect bent on destabilising the kingdom." So De Baets and large parts of his team were removed from the investigation and sent home on indefinite leave.
And :
[Judge Jean-Marc] Connerotte testified in the Dutroux case on 4 March 2004. He broke down in the witness box stating that there had been high-level murder plots to stop his investigation into the child-sex mafia. He stated that he had to drive in bullet-proof cars and had armed guards around him at all times because shadowy figures from the crime world were threatening him. The police had informed him that murder contracts had been taken out against the prosecutors in the case. He alleged that organised crime methods were used to discredit his work and make sure that the investigation would end in a judicial failure.
Why is no one talking about this case anymore?!
submitted by johnslegers to Epstein [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 22:22 g3ny17 A little piece of my life

First of all, hello to anyone and i hope you are well. I'm a 25 old man just needing to vent of. Evan tough i think i am succeding on my professional plans and others, i feel like a im failling in my personal one. For about year, i felt in love with a girl from my work place, she is really sweet, smart, but really insecure. She started a year after i got employed at that workplace, and at first i had no interest in her, but after some time she started to come at mr to help her understand some things, and started to make some really sweet jokes and thing that just knocked me down. I have to say thst i never felt somthing for a girl like i did with her. So i wanted to tell her how i felt, but she had a bf for 4 or five years, and even tough she said that that relation is not working anymore i could not find the courwge the say that yet. I talked to some common friends about this but everyone told me to move on. And i tried..still trying..but i feel like i am in a loop. I talked with girls, really tried to create a connection but my mind was set in her. Still is. With this covid situation we haven't seen eachother in months, still talking like daily, and i cannot get her out of my mind. I really care of her and wish her all the best, bucause she deserve all the best things. But i am afraid that if i tell her what i feel i will lose her as a friend, and i will make her feel bad for hurting me for not sharing the same feelings. And tbh, i have no ideea how i will react to rejection from her, evan though in my mind i accepted that. But yet i feel otherwise. So she came to my city today, and we organised something to see eachother and some other friend. So i saw her today and tbh i cannot express what i felt. Now i am home, sad and cannot get my mind out of her. Tried watching netflix, playing Fifa or other games, reading, anything that could make my mind distracted, and it didn't work. I don't know what to do. I just want to feel normal, not to feel love or attachment.. I also taled with my therapist about this but his advices didn't improved my situation. If feel stucked in this. And i don't know how to get out of this. If you read this, i wan't to thank you for listening to my rant🙂
submitted by g3ny17 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 10:52 usagi_automatica29 Weird feelings about my ex

So just need to air these thoughts since they've been going round in my head everyday for a week now and I'm getting sick of them.
So last week I found out that my ex is having a baby with someone they have started seeing/going out with since about June time. When I first got told of this I was shocked, and just sat there staring at the person that told me in disbelief.
Now I don't want biological kids myself (whole list of reasons that I don't want to get into), and while I was with my ex i made it a point to bring it up early on in the relationship since I knew it was important to be known, and he was completely understanding towards it all and supported the idea that if I ever felt I wanted to parent I would foster or adopt.
We were together for about 2 years, and it wasn't as if it was a great time for most of it. I had come clean about my mental health issues early on and was told he was fine with it, like anyone would I guess, but when it came to fully understanding it he fell short. I had anxiety/paranoia/self esteem issues I had to address with him after finding a pornblog he had at the time maybe about 4 months into the relationship, including pics of his friend in her underwear who he would see regularly. I tried to address this at the time, even offered a compromise to make it work for both of us so that he could still see his friend and I wouldn't feel so uncomfortable (the compromise was he would text me that he was going over there to let me know, rather than me asking him what he was doing to then find out he was there, I thought this little bit of communication would help me process it better instead of feeling like it was being hidden from me).
Of course that didn't happen. After that conversation he seemed to stop seeing her completely which was not what I wanted to happen. So I felt bad for that but never brought it up. Everything seemed fine until I went away to uni. Uni was difficult for me to deal with because of the mental health stuff, being thrown out of a routine to having nothing really to do took its toll and he was aware of this.
About 2 months into being at uni I go to a wedding with him as his plus 1. Before the wedding he had went to the stag night, we had arranged for me to drop him off and pick him up later. I had also brought up the conversation of strip clubs, said that if he went just to make sure he got a dance off of a girl who could actually pole dance. I made it aware that i have no problem with strip clubs other than that, I went to pole dancing classes and knew that it was just a job for the girls working there so i didn't care in all honesty if he went to one or not. However I got so stressed that night trying to find him when it came time to picking him up. He kept giving me different streets he was on and it was only by random I found him. I was stressed and pissed off but decided to try to gain some calm and ask him how the night was, no point arguing with someone that drunk in my opinion. I asked him if he went to a strip club, and he said no, my response was like "awwww ah well". This conversation then repeated in the morning when he was sober and the response was the same.
It was then at the wedding things took a turn for the worse. I had been sitting chatting to his friends when he was at the bar and one of them mentioned going to the strip club that night, I said that I had been told they didn't go, and they confirmed to me what had actually happened that night. Not going to lie, I saw red at that point, but I'm more of a cold anger person, the type that will cut with words when I get that way. So I went up to him and said "heard you had fun at the strip club on the stag night", instantly I seen his face drop and I just walked outside to have a smoke and try to find some calm away from the situation. His friend apologised to me and I told him he shouldn't because it wasn't them that had lied to me. The ex then comes out and tries to shake conversation with me, I'm not in the mood for this, at this point I want to go home but can't and don't want to cause drama so I try to stay away from people, have a drink in a quiet corner and wait out the night. I had tried to text a friend but dropped my phone and broke it, so was sitting in a silent rage trying to compose myself. He however still tries to get me to talk, coming sitting beside me, asking me to speak to him when I'm having a smoke outside. It got to the point I snapped and told him how I feel about people that lie to me, that I had made clear all my mental health stuff and he still lies to me, how it makes me feel like shit and a throw away object and I hate fake people like that. His excuse was his ex used to manipulate him that way, say something was okay and then it wasn't and he was supposed to know it wasn't okay. However this then got to me more with thr thought of "why are you treating me like your ex? Because I am not her".
Still pretty angry when we got back to mine, he went to the bathroom and my paranoia took over and I looked at his phone, I know its not a great thing to do, I wouldn't normally but something didn't feel right and I wasn't going to rely on him to tell me. Found out he had been seeing his friend that we had had the compromise about and was lying to me about where he was everytime while I was at uni. So when he came back I asked him if there was anything else he had lied to me about, he said no....I said "really then?" And he still says no. I through his phone at him and tell him what I found out. It wasn't great, I had to go back to uni as well that week. Stupidly after talking about it I said I understood why he done it, didn't make it right, but I forgave him for his actions, I then ask him what he was up to and his response was "at her house", I then got angry again with his disregard for my feelings.
That was the first nail in the coffin for the relationship i guess. Having rebuild trust when you're so far way doesn't work great, especially when I'm struggling with undiagnosed mental health condition at this point which I just classed as bad recurring depression with esteem issues. So I went a bit cold. He tried his best. I was still head over heels in love with him. I cared about him, enjoyed his company, enjoyed how much he made me laugh, the oxytocin hits while cuddling where addictive. But it still felt like I wasn't a priority, that I was just a pretty face and someone that looked good beside him and that he just went for because no one else was interested. I even got trapped at uni for my birthday by myself. I felt awful that day and he was so emotionally and empathetically dense that day to not understand how much I was hurting, I had tried to gradually come to terms with being stuck at uni that weekend due to the snow, but he kept telling me to have hope and not give up, not understanding I was mentally preparing myself to deal with slowly than on the day when it would be worse. It was worse on the day, I thought about commiting suicide. I hate my birthday because its hard thinking of an enjoyable one for me and being alone not being able to connect with anyone in person and drinking by myself made things worse. When I asked him for a phone call later that night he tole me he was too busy because he had went to see his friends. That made me feel like fucking nothing to him.
Basically I guess I type all this out and remember all the hurt he put me through, all the times he didn't care, all the things he done as "romantic" where to make it up to me that he had fucked up so any gesture seemed tainted in my mind. Everythi g felt like effort I had to make for the relationship to work. And it took its toll. I even got a stomach infection, lost a lot of weight and asked him to help keep track of meals during the day to get me to remember to eat, that was met with "sure" and then nothing was done.
We were together for just under 2 years. I loved him. I cooked for him, tried to plan stuff, was the only one looking into resolution stuff, everything. He was more focused on spending £280 a month on weed than planning a proper holiday together which he said he wanted. Basically he was all talk. He knew the right things to say at the time and knew how to say sorry without actually meaning it. He made a big deal about not wanting to lose me but his actions when he had me never showed that at all. I couldn't go back to him when we properly broke up, I loved him still then and it fucking hurt. Though I now don't know if it was proper love or just a high from the chemicals produced when your close to someone, and I should of never let it go on for as long as it did with everything he done, but I just wanted to make it work with him because I thought we got on well, even like best friend well, but I should of clicked to how he treats his best friends in that regard.
I cut all contact, i needed away from it and not see anything about him and felt he needed the same from me since he was "heartbroken, in tears everyday, missing me so much" etc. But I knew from all my effort and trying so much that if I gave him yet another chance then it would just be thrown in my face again, also the feelings of resentment had started to become really insidious in my brain such as thoughts of sleeping with his mates to get back at him which would be completely out of character for me to think about and even do.
So 2 years have went by now. I've been going out with someone for about 11 months of that, an old friend who i had found on tinder, we stayed not that far from one another, had just been meeting up for drinks and chat for a good few times, due to our previous dating history as teenagers I didn't think anything would happen, and I was enjoying his company in a friendship way until he gave me a little kiss while he was leaving one night which felt amazing, just a little awkward peck on the lips before he left followed by a text when he got home saying how he was awkward with stuff like that and just wanted to do it and that he liked me, so we took it slowly from there. He's never really done anything to piss me off since we've been together. Its more of a calm consistent relationship which I enjoy, only struggle has been dealing with our mental health together and understanding each other in that way since I've now been diagnosed as having bipolar 2 and he has adhd. So I'm on meds that have helped even my moods out and I definitely feel the difference with them.
However hearing about the news of my ex having a child has unsettled me. I have had to ask friends to remind me of how bad things were at the time and what he had done. Even have to have the conversations with myself when I think about it, such "remember when he done this? Remember how you felt?" And I answer "yeah that wasn't great, affected me like this, and that added to this, and then there was this". So I've been trying to address these thoughts like that.
However it unsettles me that from what I can gather from social media posts, my ex and his expecting girlfriend have been doing all the things that we used to do together. Walks in parks, feeding ducks, going to night light shows, making ramen (totally my thing which he stole, I'm the weeb, not him), basically doing things that we used to do together, and he's still wearing a scarf that i made for him in some of the photos which also adds to the weirdness. These weren't things he really done before me, and even the places in the photographs I would class as my places since he had no idea about most of them before we had been going out, so seeing him with her at these locations doesn't sit right, especially since its places that I might visit as well during these times. Now from some quick biology math it seems the conception was about 2 months into them seeing/going out, they announced it recently with a post about what gender it was as well, a girl.
I guess it feels kinda like he's taken what he liked in our relationship and just done it for this girl instead, like he's made the effort and changed to be there for someone properly after he failed me so much, and it makes me think I wish he was like that when I was with him. Now I know social media is an illusion, that I really dont know whats going on behind those posts, and its not as if I want a child as well either, especially with someone i had been with for 2 months. I guess I'm just wondering why I wasn't enough at that point, why I had to be the tester in a way, why I was ready to settle with him and he just took me for granted and knew all the right things to say to me to keep me around. Because I really did love him, I wouldn't of put up with all the shit and tearing down of my esteem if I didn't want him in my life, but I had to cut the ties to save my sanity since I couldn't be the one carrying the emotional burden and organisation of the relationship on all the time.
I had the chance when we broke up to take him back and I already had decided at that point it wouldn't be good for me.
I dont know in all honesty. I talk to my friends and myself and know it was bad, can still pinpoint details when the relationship was crumbling.
I guess I loved him and had felt I wanted to spend my life with him then, that hearing this news has been weird, but more the fact that it feels like he's just clicked copy+paste into what we done in our relationship into what he now does with this person in a relationship, and now they have a child, been together for roughly 6 months and expecting a child. That doesn't feel like a stable decision in my eyes.
Its made me question what my current relationship is like, yeah my current partner has been great, a bit emotionally clueless at points but I have definitely seen him trying and noticed a difference in how he responds to me feeling all over the place. He's had a shit past relationship as well, 6 years of basically being trapped in a loveless situation by the sounds of it, so he's been getting used to me being very cuddly and affectionate and has started to come out of his shell that way as well. However due to him having a mortgage and me having my own flat, the realisation that we'll probably not live with one another properly for another 2 years has made me feel awful. I have enough room at my place for him to move in with me, mines is rented but I have plenty of room for his things and would like to have that companionship and closeness that comes with living together, but I don't want to have to wait two years, even then I'm planning on doing a masters when I'm able to (money dependant) and the course is in newcastle so I dont know what will happen then.
I guess this is more me taking stock of my life. I was with someone who i tried to make it work with and got it thrown back in my face. Taking time to work on myself and find someone that feels like a calming presence in my life who I get on well with. Finishing uni, getting a diagnosis and proper meds, getting a job which pays well and have opportunity for growth within, as well as getting my flat which allows me to have space for a studio to work on my side hussle. It all feels great, and I imagine my life with my ex and can't see it being that way at all. However I miss the excitement he gave me, though I feel thats the just the chemical rush from my brain that I'm missing as the reality wasn't great. But I did love him and that hurts, then seeing this, I feel some happiness he found someone, then that slipped to "wtf" after seeing all the things they were doing were taken from our time, even one of the places they posted about going was somewhere me and my new guy had been to just 1 or 2 days previously.....and this was somewhere that only I had introduced.
It feels like a state of flux, also from a logical point of view, doesn't seem like a good idea to have a child..... but ah well.
I just needed to get this off of my chest and repeat everything over again about why. I am happier than I was, I do feel like I have moved on, I feel that I am with someone who has a better understanding of me and who isn't making grand gestures just to make up for something they've done. We can also play games together since he doesn't get grumpy and angry when things fuck up in a game, street fighter has been the main one. First game we played the look on his face was priceless, I wiped the floor with him which he wasn't expecting, the shocked look mixed with wow was amazing, even his friend that was there was like "wtf!! I've never seen him lose at a game!" And those moments feel calm and nice, even being able to make this relationship work during a manic/delusion moment and also the global pandemic and lockdown seems like an achievement. I'm also the type of person now to not just be in a relationship for the sake of it, or just go with someone because they show interest, I'm more in need of mental stimulus and growth than just aesthetic values and whats expected.
I guess I still miss moments with my ex, I can't pinpoint any particular, its just nostalgia for the feelings I guess, the more I rationalise it, the more I realise it was just a chemical addiction that was feeding by being around him and ignoring the pain he was putting me through while I was trying to make it work between us.
Well I hope he finds joy in life in all honesty. When we were together I helped him with a career change and now he is a teacher, he has a relationship with someone, they seem to be happy doing the things we used to do, they are having a kid very soon into the relationship, they'll have that attachment for the rest of there lives.
I have a good paying job, one that is simple but has opportunity for growth and more creative work further down the line. I have a flat with room for a studio to work on my personal passions and hussle. I have a beautiful house rabbit who jumps up on my bed for morning cuddles, and I'm looking at adopting another in January. I have a guy who shows his live in his own ways and we enjoy each others company and dont feel it draining like we do with others, the life of introverts I guess.
My life doesn't feel like it should stand still yet, especially for a kid. I took so much time feeling like the world was moving too fast for me with the difficulties my mental health and people brought to it. This year has felt like the world slowed down enough for me to catch up.
It is just nostalgia for an unstable chemical feeling that I miss it seems
submitted by usagi_automatica29 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 05:52 PersonalityFanatic Type me :)

Hi, I’m new to this subreddit. I’ve been trying to find my type for a long time but haven’t succeeded, so I decided to give this a go.














Please comment your answers and explanations :)
Thank you
- PersonalityFanatic
submitted by PersonalityFanatic to MbtiTypeMe [link] [comments]


2020.11.28 01:18 Tyzek99 HELP. Telekinesis performed on me unintentionally. Understood knowledge from god and chanelled jesus

If it's too long just skip to the last part, i only need help rn, so if u dont care about the story then skip it. (but read the first paragraph under this)

Ok it's going to be a very long story, and i couldn't care less about skeptics regarding this, i am only seeking help rn. Long story short for those interested, it's a story spanning the past 2 weeks, but really took a turn the last 4 days or so. The story involves the chanelling of jesus, telepathic ability, nordic shamanism, and gods and demons n shit, also jesus made me feel pure love/bliss. Let me say i have only meditated like 2 or 4 times in my life.
Just know this, stay the fuck out of telepathy, it can literally make people go crazy. Even if u hate the person do NOT do it.
Oh and this is the second time i am posting this since my ipad went out of battery so it'll be more organised now, hopefully. And im just saying if you are a skeptic go away, i really dont need to prove anything to you lol.
So to start it off i'll tell you who's who.
Me - Uhh, Me?
chaneller - lets call him johnny boy lmao

My backstory, i have been a hardcore christian (never read bible tho), skeptic, atheist, half atheist and everything u could think of. I just couldn't believe in christianity, for real. Oh 90% of the world dont believe in god so he will personally torture u in all eternity, lmao no. hey, not to bash ur beliefs though, jesus is as real as day and so is god. It really took a good turn when i started to think for myself instead of listening to the church, since yeah the religion is right, but it's been manipulated by the priests who didnt believe and misused for power and greed, which is really sad as its ruin so much for humanity!
So me knowing there's is a bigger truth than this physical world, it just felt fake for me. I just knew in the back of my head there is something more, tho i was a skeptic at first. And yes if u are a skeptic and reading this, you won't believe a fucking word, i wouldnt. if you really wanna read past this open ur mind dude cuz this is crazy, to me atleast, idk if this is normal in the psychic world.

So i found astral projection, still havent been able to do it (damn you fear of seeing demons). And eventually someone made a discord about it, it's nice to talk to people and see their experiences while i try to make my own theories on reality itself. Because this other world is not a fantasy world, or well i guess it literally is when u think about it lol. It's physics tho.
So imma skip a bunch now but ive found out love is the greatest power and blah blah blah, someone on the discord says hes from a whole lineage of generations of nordic shamans. And that hes had a hellaaa powerful negative entity in his room all his life. So i tell him he needs to learn to love the entity to make it go away, he says "it is what it is", which is wrong since he can always do something about it. Eventually i get him to learn to use the power of love, and he realise how strong it is. This entity that's given him all this trouble his entire life suddenly is barely able to put up a fight, just against love! This is what all religion has teached btw if you look into it. Look at a combination of all religions if you wanna find the truth. (fuck im going off track here)
So imma skip again. Him realising love is so strong has made his third eye and powers so much stronger (his words.) and fuck it actually did holy shit hes strong. So he suddenly starts talking about him chanelling ancient entities like really powerful entities. think asmodeus, the egyptian god set (or was it seth?) he even had a run in with the devil himself, satan was going to a private meeting with his dad, even how crazy that sounds... I get this is gonna drive off any christian readers lmao, but we get to the jesus part now, yes hes real. My message to u christians is, believe in god, not religion. Believe in jesus, not the bible. God is a spirit, and he is your spirit. Check out the bible, it tells this exact thing.
So he asks me if i had any entities i wanted him to chanell, at the time i thanked him no since i had nothing in mind. The next day when we were talking jesus suddenly popped in my head, what if i could have him chanell jesus, that way i could ask him about how christianity has turned out. So first he said he couldnt chanell all entities since there was a block for him, idk if he tried to chanell jesus and it didnt work or if he didnt try at all there. But i told him all entities have free will, and that jesus is a good entity, if u simply ask he will answer.
So he asked what i wanted to know. I had to think of an question and the first that came to mind was the question "What do you think of the distortions of christianity?"
He replied "It's wrong."
"It was'nt supposed to be like this"
Johnny boy said it was weird, he couldnt feel jesus presence but he felt this sadness.
I don't wanna say all the questions as it'll take alot of time, but it wasnt many tho (i think about 3) and i can tell u them via pm. Or i will say them in comments if this gets peoples attention and people wanna know.
So at a point even though i just wanted to get some answers from him lol, it suddenly just got so damn personal like wtf. During the entire conversation i was seeing these i guess "screen tearing" in my eyesight, like rips or something idk how to explain it, fair warning i cant explain how alot of these feelings was like in this story. So after a while i started feeling tingling in my third eye/crown chakra. And i told it, and jesus told me to focus on it fast. So first i tried to let energy flow naturally and not force anything since i read that somewhere. Didnt make my third eye do anything tho so idk about that. But then he told me to get off his dms and just focus on it. So i did, i just focused on it. And once i did that i just felt this immense love. Holy shit jesus, you really love me lol. The feeling was so great the messages i sent sounded kinda like sex "mmmmm it feels so good! Fuck!" Yeah, literally like those kinda messages im not joking.
Well the more i could feel these feelings, the stronger they became. I thought the feeling of love i was already feeling was amazing, but suddenly jesus turned it into pure fucking bliss. I was just laughing, crying a bit and enjoying it. He told me to remember the feeling, so i did. And i think i messaged something like "Fuck, i dont want it to stop" tho im pretty sure i said something different im just not gonna bother check now lol. But he instantly messaged me "U'll always feel it my child." That shit was personal af and you know it made me question shit, i didnt regard jesus as actual god because i thought he was just an entity that got enlightened and got powers and stuff. So i thought he was trolling at first, but apparently not. He even knew shit about me i think. Because i had a dilemma for the past 3 days, was it wrong to gain power? Isnt that like service to self (read law of one and you will understand that). But he randomly without me even thinking about it, or me asking it answered this phrase. "Wisdom don't come without power, and power brings wisdom, and all those bring balance."
But this isnt the point of this post, it's crazy but what happend after i have questions regarding.
So jesus isnt being chanelled anymore, know that. So like 2 am we're talking and he says "omg"
And i just instantly get this fucking feeling of the entire universe going into my head. it was the heaviest and most unnatural feeling ive ever felt. Fuck i wanted nothing of it. I was also seriously emotional because i literally just had the most intense feeling of love from jesus. It was not a good feeling in any way. This heavy feeling tho felt so fucking heavy and just wow, i cant even explain the feeling, like all love from me just went away because this feeling was so heavy it clouded over all other feelings. I felt no bad intent or anything, but idk i thought maybe a bad entity was in my room or some shit.
I told him to stop and he stopped slowly. But he told me it was just my third eye i was feeling. (I believed it but it was a lie lol. I knew subconsciously it was not my third eye tho, but if that was what my third eye felt like i wanted nothing of it.) So i couldnt sleep until 5 am. Next day tho i sat down and tried to clear my mind completely to listen to god. Yes that is possible. And i just cleared my mind like i said, and asked a question and thoughts popped up. But i felt the conversation didnt work since i was interfering with it, so it was a failure i guess, but man did this help me?
So my sister and mom was wathcing a serie upstairs, and i got intruiged because it was a really good series lol, i think it's new, the one on netflix with some girl doing chess. Sounds boring, but was really good. And i was standing tho instead of sitting down into the sofa, because i was gonna watch my own serie on my ipad. Then out of nowhere i hear the thoughts pop up into my head "Aren't you gonna sit down" and while this happend my mom gulped her mouth. Then 3 seconds later she said those same exact fucking words. wtf... I was like did i just do telepathy??? And later during the series, the girl in the series was taking drugs to get better at chess or something. So i said something like "Meh i think it's better to do shit without any substances" since that is how i feel. But my sister does weed, which isnt bad in my opinion but i got this disagreeing "vibe" from her..

So this is when shit went wrong.... Johnny boy (the friend who chanelled jesus), couldnt control his powers so he subconsciously used telepathy on me. Note that i live in Norway, he lives in Finland. 2 countries apart, we haven't even met irl. He said he needs some connection to do telepathy because hes only done it once i think, might be wrong about that. But when he chanelled jesus it felt like jesus kinda merged with him, so he could feel what jesus felt and he could understand shit after jesus left. It's like jesus acted as a bridge for me and johnny boy to connect. Although he never leaves, god watches everything but it's more than that.. idk if i should say more about that, you'll find out during enlightenment or you already know lol.
But after these i told johnny boy what i did. Then idk, but the stress i was feeling all the fuckin day from what felt like someone else being in my head, kinda.. idk how to explain it, but not pleasant. So you know it increased whne i told him because he got aware "oh shit im doing telepathic shit or something.. i dont know", well his dad told him once that he shouldnt do telepathic shit if he ever learned that ability because it can break peoples minds. Which would of happend had it kept going on for me. So stay the fuck away from telepathy, not safe shit.
Though while i was feeling this shit i just focused at it for a few seconds or something i dont remember what i did. But i could feel there was more than just this telepathy, i could feel why telepathy works, how it works and just understood what it really is. Johnny boy didnt get this. But it was like the information didnt pop up in my head, i didnt realise it or something. The information just was there, like it didnt come, it didnt go. It just was there and has always been there, ive just never accessed it.
From this experience, although i wouldnt recommend it to anyone as it felt fucking horrible, mentally painful. Dude holy shit, dont do telepathy on anyone. EVEN if i got safe out of it, it is still not safe. You most likely will ruin someone. But, from this experience i just know how god is. He is us, literally. I can explain it as our beings are filterings of god's infinite being to create entities, if you understood. We are all connected because we are all the same being. All your thoughts are not your own, just like jesus said in Corinthians 6:19-20
"
19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
20 For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's."
He is literally saying all our spirits are god. Everything is god, our bodies whether they be astral bodies or physical bodies are only bodies to hold gods spirit without memory of what or who we are.

TL;DR: A friend of mine who i have not met, who lives 2 countries apart from me, chanelled jesus who made me feel his love. This chanelling over discord created a path for the chaneller to me (Accidentaly). He unconsciously used telepathy on me without understanding what it is. This gave me heavy mental pain and is something nobody should experience. BUT, it gave me knowledge of god. And i have kindof gained the power of telepathy (or maybe clairvoyance) but i do not want to use it.

What stopped the telepathic shit was that i imagined a white light around my body which eradicated 80% of the feeling of his mind penetrating mine. I told him to do the same and it went away 99%. I am mentally exhausted by this though. And i am wondering how i can protect myself from telephatic attacks if anyone is experienced?
Edit: It's true like a guy said in the comments, that i can't really know it was jesus, even if he while being 2 countries apart made me feel love and then bliss. It could of been any entity, but i believe it was jesus. He acted as jesus. But that's not the point of this post, the point is to ask if i can do anything to defend myself in the future other than visualisation.
submitted by Tyzek99 to Psychic [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 18:27 dynnnk Falling for someone whose taken

Hi guys! This is my first post on reddit after lurking for months but a little bit of context:
A couple of weeks ago I (M23) decided to hop back on tinder to get myself out there again and meet new people after finishing my exams and also ending a 2 1/2 year relationship in January. My first match was with a girl (F22) who seemed familiar for some reason I couldn’t put my finger on and after talking about our hobbies and interests I realised that we‘ve spoken before three years ago and have each other on Instagram but no clue why the conversation died then (?) I then asked her what she was looking for on tinder before she mentioned that she was actually in a open relationship which her current partner is ok w her exploring and sleeping with other people that they suggested dating apps and sorry for wasting my time if this wasn’t what I was looking for or if I had different expectations. (Tbh for me I had no issues since its been several months since I’ve slept w someone and I wanted more time to work on myself than to consider a relationship and committing to someone again).
But fast forward to a month of texting each other everyday - We organised a date to meet up for dinner and drinks to catch up on our lives, and one thing led to another with me being intoxicated that I got a cab to take her back to mine where we ended up sleeping together and she ended up staying the night since I didn’t live too far from her workplace. After morning cuddles we went out to get breakfast before she left for work and kissed me goodbye saying I was a passionate lover and she would love to see me again soon.
After our first night together I then realised her replies became more low effort and she would take longer to text back like how she use to when we first rekindled our situationship/friendship. Then after a few days of her dry text messages I decided to ask her:
“is everything ok? You seem quite quiet and distant lately, just worried about you”
Her: “Hey Dan, me and my partner mutually ended after the night I’ve had with you so that’s why I haven’t been in the mood lately to really talk to you”
“Do you want me to give you space? Or we can talk it about it? I hope you’re okay”
Her: “Idk, I’m going to bed now”
Me: “Maybe getting some rest will help, I’ll be here for you if you need someone to talk, goodnight”
And yeaa its been four days and she still hasn’t replied back so I’m not sure whether to double text or give it a week :/ (she has always been quite vague about her relationship too and the reasons behind the mutual breakup, all I know was her relationship was approaching three years) I know my intentions were casual but cliche to say but it really hit different for me that I felt so comfortable being myself after having so many failed relationships that I would’ve had to put a facade and felt ashamed about my ex partners finding out who I really was. But I don’t know if I should stay and communicate how I truly feel about her or leave in this situation that she may still be sorting issues out or is upset over the end of her relationship. It’s also difficult because I’ve became more emotionally invested and that I would at least want her to stay in my life as a friend if she were to get back with her partner since I care and worry about her wellbeing and how she’s managing everything at the moment. I’m driving myself crazy at this point losing sleep over this girl, and I wish I knew more of the context about her breakup to be more supportive for her but I also didn’t want to overstep and invade her privacy.
submitted by dynnnk to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 17:53 Mindless-Nobody-93 i miss my old self

i don't want to die but i also don't want to live in this world anymore, there's nothing here for me. getting out of bed feels like a chore and i'm failing all of my classes and my parents don't even recognise me. the only hobby i have is smoking weed and my weekend job. i have a great social life and lots of friends, i go out every friday and saturday without fail but it all just feels so insignificant. i used to enjoy whilst i was there and just be sad for the rest of the week, but now i don't even enjoy when i am out i just think about how pointless it is and how nobody will remember anything about it in a couple of months. i try not to think like that because i know we're all in control of our own emotions but i just dissociate without even realising. nothing interests me anymore, absolutely nothing. i can't concentrate on school work and never do it, but then i cant even concentrate on watching a series i turn it off after half an hour, the same with books and films. i just mindlessly scroll through social media for hours and hours on end everyday without even realising, i genuinely think social media and modern technology has poisoned our generations brains (i'm 17 btw). even music, i feel like i've listened to every song i could possibily find. my parents were never very affectionate towards me because they were never affectionate towards eachother. they sit in separate rooms and sleep in separate beds but live under the same roof because it's just easier than going through the stress of finding another house for one of them. i don't even care that they don't like each other anymore or when they scream at each other but it just infuriates me that they take their frustrations on their life and each other out on me, and if i ever try to express that i don't like it when they do that they just turn nasty and scream and shout at me because "that's the most ridiculous thing i've ever heard, you sound like a spoilt brat you have a nice life". i appreciate how hard they work to keep a roof over my head and food in my mouth so much but i'd rather have nothing and feel as though my parents love me and are proud of me. they've emotionally neglected me my entire life and i've only realised the past year that that feeling i've always felt as a child is that. i just feel voiceless, they manipulate me into thinking i'm being dramatic everytime i'm upset and in the moment i actually believe that i am. i can't remember the last time my mother hugged me or told me she loved me, i feel guilty for getting upset over it because i've always been told i have a perfect life. growing up i put so much pressure on myself to be perfect, i used to get straight A's, play every sport a girl could play in school, do performing arts and had a job since the age of 14, but during that i was never really made to feel like they were proud of me and they still only just spoke about the things that i do wrong, but they're always really insignificant things. whereas my 13 year old brother will be applauded if he manages to wash his own dish, so i just gave up, because when you're constantly made to feel like whatever you do is never good enough, you lose the motivation to do anything. due to this i feel like i've completely lost myself. i've gone from the most organised and high achieving person you could imagine that had major plans to go to uni and study something academically challenging, to a burnout stoner that is probably going to just work in a supermarket for the rest of her life because i can't find the motivation to get out of bed in the mornings, and i hate that person, she's everything i never wanted to be. i don't know what to do, i spoke to my parents about the fact that i thought i had depression around this time last year and they just called me immature for self harming and selfish for feeling suicidal because "i was scaring my brother". my dad couldn't care less if he tried just thought i was being a dramatic teenager and now he makes jokes about self harm to me all the time because they think i'm better. and my mother went into hyper psycho mode and wouldn't let me out of her sight and would shout at me constantly foe making her scared, so in the end i just told them i feel all better now and that it just disappeared and i was being silly :). but i'm still hurting, like so fucking much. i just feel so so alone and i don't have anything to focus on other than weed to distract myself from that void i feel in my stomach. i miss the happy little girl that my parents used to love, i don't know where she is or when i lost her. i don't earlly expect anyone to respond lol this is so long and boring i'm just tired of talking to my walls and ceilling.
submitted by Mindless-Nobody-93 to getting_over_it [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 15:43 undeadko Finally found a proper proof!

Disclaimer: I am using "he" a lot. Ladies you are not excluded from my thoughts. Quite simply, English is not my first language and it is easier for me to type out this lot of text this way. After all I am a man and usually think of my opposition as a guy standing in front of me.
Let me start by explaining why I am writing this.
So I am a 26M living in Europe. I remember the time when there was no such thing as "Flat Earth". There was not even a debate. Then I remember when it got funny. Then we thought it will die and so on. However, I have never endorsed making fun of people no matter what their beliefs are. After all, if you are such a great scientist yourself, it should be easy to disprove any false claim, no?
The fact that many have tried to debunk this theory and flat-earthers always have a counter argument, which sounds somewhat plausible is quite frankly magnificent. Even world renowned scientists fail on a regular basis. I am looking at you, Neil! The whole debate is fascinating! After all it is the best example of how powerful science is, while in parallel, it demonstrates quite clearly how wrong everything can be twisted with a bit of misinformation.
I guess this is the place where I say I am not a flat-earther? What I am trying to say is that any claim is simply a statement waiting to be proven right or wrong with the right tools, and nobody should be attacked or belittled for being wrong.
So let's get into, "what is science?" - It is a theory for a vision you have, for a given problem (for example the shape of the Earth), backed up by facts, while constantly withstanding all efforts of disproof... I might have chopped it a bit, but by definition it is something along those lines.
Well, why get mad at flat-earthers then? They are just trying to disprove something, while they have their own theory of how the problem is solved. This is what science is doing every day. If anything, they are trying to use the scientific method to prove their claims.
Hence, we are back to the fact that it should be easy to defend your claims. If someone tells you "The grass is red. We are being lied to, by everyone that it is green." You do not simply tell them they are a moron. No! If you do that, you are basically doing what they are doing, and even worse - you are insulting them. No ground is gained this way. Instead, you should sit down and explain that we have all agreed that light is split into colours. Those colours correspond to certain wavelengths. The wavelengths between 500nm and 575nm (roughly) is what we agreed to call "green". Now the person might see the grass purple, if he wants to claim that. However, he is still seeing the same wavelengths. Hence, he is seeing green. How he perceives it is a different topic and nobody has control over that. But when he speaks with other people, he should keep in mind that that wavelength is called green, and if he wants to be understood correctly, he should use the proper definitions.
Done! Simple enough, yes? There can be no denying this explanation, because after all you are giving validity to their claims, and supporting your claims with solid facts. Notice how I never introduced a photo or something like that as my evidence. Imagine giving them a picture and saying, "Look it is green here!" lol!? They can still claim that it is orange or something. A photo is not sufficient!
Now why is this so hard with the claim that the Earth is flat? Well let's put the flat Earth shoes on and check out the idea from their perspective. ...See what I did there? Changing perspectives? Reddit wouldn't know what this is, even if you slapped it on the forehead with it, lol.
Anyway! I am a flat-earther now! You come to me and tell me that the Earth is a globe. Fine! Where is your proof!? You have to have a solid undeniable proof, which I can see, touch, smell or calculate. Or in other words, proof which I can reach on my own, while you simply guide me to it.
No photograph will do, as it is not made by me. No story would do, as I have not lived it or seen it. And for every argument you have, I have an equally good alternative explanation of why this phenomena occurs. Remember, a cylinder, depending on the perspective it is observed, can look like a circle or a rectangle - both equally wrong. It basically becomes your word against mine, unless, I have a lot of money and am able to travel to space to see the curvature. How convenient! Or I should believe some very stretched out science about atmospheric bending of light, and so on, which you do not have the mathematics for straight away anyway.
No, no, no, my friend, the proof should be something simple enough that I cannot deny it. You cannot expect someone to buy into your claims, when they are based on special relativity or some other advanced topic, which less than 10% of humanity understands. Or simply put - fuck all the nonsense pictures, videos, claims and complicated measurements with devices which have to work based on your claims that the Earth is a globe. Naturally, those things will show that it is a globe, no?
So we are finally here. I think I have found the proof! I would be happy to argue with a flat-earther about this. However, I think they will ban me from those subs pretty quickly so... here I am.
My proof is as follows:
We take the flat Earth idea that the Earth is a disc. Then, I proceed to debunk it with gravity... "But wait a minute there, u/undeadko! Flat-earthers do not believe in gravity!", you'll say. Yes! We will use that to our advantage, by saying there is no such thing as gravity. Or rather agreeing that Newton was wrong, and "gravity" is simply experienced by us, because the disc is moving (I am using moving instead of acceleration because I am an engineer and cannot bring myself to wrong the scientific notations and definitions) upwards 9.8m/s (again you will notice there is no square on the seconds). This is what keeps us glued to the Earth, by flat-earth logic. Cool! The theory is set on flat Earth side.
How would I go to disprove it? Well, let's see... First I will argue that we live in a three dimensional universe. Or at least as far as we know and experience it (also please do not start with the fourth dimension being time... We are talking space dimensions, and we do not need to include Einstain's unoriginal toss job spacetime into the mix. Believe me this works without bringing higher dimensions in. Also this would fall into the 10% problem, I mentioned two paragraphs earlier). Therefore forces act in three dimensions, yes? Therefore, a sphere will naturally have a gravitational pull towards it's center spread out alongside it's surface. That being said, however, a disc flying through space with 9.8m/s upward does not need three dimensions for it's force. It needs two. If we imagine a wooden plank, which has to be submerged equally in a pool of water, we need to push down with an equal amount of force on all it's length and all it's width. Hopefully, we agree on everything so far.
But there it was! Did you catch it? There is a very small problem with the disc theory - The force has to be uniformly spread across! Otherwise, the Earth being a disc in space has two options:
  1. The pieces which move slower than 9.8m/s will lag behind. This basically means that the Earth will crumble away through the cosmos, if the structure of the disc is not rigid enough.
  2. The pieces which move slower than 9.8m/s will have to drag the entire Earth disc down, hence slowing it down, if the structure of the disc is rigid enough.
Now, we use the final piece of the puzzle - We all know that Earth's gravitational pull (or any other name you want to use) is not uniform. This is acceptable on a sphere. However I just demonstrated, that it is unacceptable on a disc. What is even more beautiful is that it can be measured cheaply and easily enough. Forget flying to space to see the Earth for yourself! Forget buying expensive gyroscopes or cameras, and lasers to measure some minuscule curvature! All you have to do is travel a bit and repeat an experiment several times.
Naturally, here is a link to that information, but I am not stupid enough to bring that as a fact to a flat-earther. This is, after all, something about which the government, or in this case the Department of Physics of University of Illinois, could be lying us about! So go on and measure it for yourself. Depending on the time of year and your willingness to travel to exotic places, it can probably be achieved with a couple of thousand dollars. Way cheaper than any flat Earth con ever organised!
Now to really seal the deal, I would like to continue the train of logic for gravity and the disc. On a sphere, gravity pulls towards the center. Rather, a sphere is a sphere, because gravity pulls towards the center. This can be represented by a two dimensional plane (as in surface. Not the aircraft) with a hole in the middle. Now on top of the plane let's say we have 10 strings, placed radially. All the strings have beads on them. Imagine it looking like a child's drawing of the sun. Each string is a ray and there are beads on that ray. The strings then go through the hole on the other side of the plane (it could be a wooden plank for all I care so this is also easy enough to envision and/or demonstrate). That represents the top half of our soon to be sphere. Now, on the flip side (pun intended), we do the same, and the new 10 strings go through the same hole. What happens if we pull the strings? The beads will clump up together at the hole, leaving us with a pretty evenly distributed sphere, composed of beads.
This is because the beads, which were further behind still feel the pull towards the hole, but there are other beads which get in the way. This cannot be overcome, so they have to position themselves in the next best position.
This is how it works in nature. So if the disc Earth had a force towards the center, due to the three dimensional universe, the disc will simply collapse to a sphere. But if we do not put a force towards the center in 3D space, then the force has to be equal on the entire disc, which is simply not the case. And to any person who does not believe that 9.8m/s^2 is not measured uniformly around the world, I can only say, "You have the right to not believe me, or any science institution. However, please go and research it, as it is easy enough for you to do so. Then if you prove that it is uniform, I will actually reconsider whether I am wrong for thinking the Earth is a globe. Until then, the debate is over".

Wow! This was long! But I was just so happy that I finally, thought of a way to debunk flat Earth! Scientists should really step up their game! I have seen many trying to debunk it but their arguments always fall flat, even for me, a fellow scientist. Now all I have to do is wait for the glorious day I meet a flat-earther and explain this to him. Hopefully, he is not a total nut job.
Finally, if you have read this, go have a cookie or something. This is one hell of a journey and you've made it! You deserve a reward!
Thank you for coming to my TED talk!
Edit: I just realised that the author from the provided link is a girl. Shout out to the women in science! We need more of you!
submitted by undeadko to flatearth [link] [comments]


2020.11.27 12:48 Rabbitvm It all comes screaming back at me

Tldr; Storytime on how I (now 31, then 15) completely mentaly blocked out Jw after I left, but how it never really leaves you, unfortunately.
So.. my mother joined the cult when I was 7 or so. I was a curious girl, so I was really interested when they offered me bible study. Before I knew it, I was guilt tripped into telling my teacher and friends in school I didn’t celebrate anything anymore. Also, I had to leave the girl scouts (I really loved being one).
On tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays I nodded off during the meetings. I do remember feeling devoted, preparing and underlining, being nervous for answering in the kingdom hall, being proud of our organisation.
I faded when I was 15 (I managed to do so while my dad was never in). A lot had happened in our family and I felt much more supported by my ‘worldly’ friends than by the apathic elders inside. A few women tried to keep me in by love bombing me, but it never felt real. When I didn’t come to meetings anymore, I remember having this weird conversation with an elder in my backyard (?). He told me that I was becoming this pretty girl and that I had to watch out for boys. I thought: bring it on.
I there and than decided to put it all behind me and to never look back. Emotionally I was totally done with JW. It didnt feel right, but I didn’t feel compelled to study why it didn’t feel right. It was 2005 and there was no Youtube, no fellow ex-JWs to help me out. I think I was scared that I would get sucked back in if I spent too much time thinking about it all. So I left my parents house to study psychology, made real and loving friends who learned me independent thought, I went to awesome parties and met my boyfriend. Now, I’m 31 and I enjoy life as it is, I ride the highs and the lows, I enjoy walking in nature, deep talks with friends and I can whole heartedly say: I’m so happy that I choose to leave, I’m so lucky that I wasn’t that deep in yet.
But lately I came to realize that I in fact was quite deep in. That I was brainwashed for a good portion of my youth and that I never really came to terms with that. I’m now mother of a new born and when I visited my parents lately, I left my baby with my mom for a second (I was never baptized, luckily she decided to keep in good contact with me after three months of silent treatment). When I came back, Jw-music was blaring in my daughters ears. I was shocked and triggered. I took my little daughter with me and tried to process what triggered me so.
It’s the old trauma of me being pulled into this cult. Thinking that I made all the choices myself (while in fact I was persuaded/brainwashed to think this way). I finally felt ready to go on the internet and read myself up on JWs through de eyes of ex-jws and the world. Some part of me was still loyal to ‘don’t read things apostates write’. I found this reddit, I found some youtubers and well..
So. Relatable. This passed week I have been on an ex-Jw binge. It seems like now I’m ready to understand what happened those years ago. But I also recognize weird thoughts that are still here, even now I’m 16 years out. I have to work on some long overdue reprogramming..
Some part of me still believes in demons and that I’m ‘unprotected’ now I left Jehovah. The nightmares are real, esp this week, now I’m researching again. Some part of me still thinks I’m a sinner, I’m rotten, I’m bad for leaving the organisation while knowing ‘the truth’ (I’m just as bad as Hitler, right?). How bizarre it was I found my mother burning my Harry Potter book (a gift from my dad). Part of me still believed the end would be imminent (up to my 23 birthday or so). I didn’t want to invest in a future, because, well, perhaps I would be destroyed in a few years. I chose a partner who is highly authoritarian, who doesnt like me to think for myself too much. Who I have to teach myself to stand up to.
So, thank you for this reddit. Its helping me see how absurd it all really was. It is helping me deprogram myself. It will help me teach my daughter independent thinking when she’s older. Thank you.
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