Everything But The Girl

Everything but the Girl debuted in 1982 with a samba interpretation of Cole Porter’s “Night and Day”; the single was a success on the U.K. independent charts, but the duo nonetheless went on ... Everything But The Girl. Profile: Tracey Thorn and Ben Watt first emerged as pioneers in the lite-jazz music scene in the early 1980's. They continued to refine their jazz versus electronica sound through eight studio albums until they gained larger exposure in 1994 through a collaboration with Massive Attack on 'Protection' and their hit album ... Everything But The Girl. Pop duo. Shared Penchant for Jazz. Influenced Chart-Topping Bands. Drifting in Limbo. Selected discography. Sources. In the decade that vocalist Tracey Thorn and guitarist/keyboardist Ben Watt have been writing and recording music together as Everything But The Girl (EBTG), they have watched their jazz-influenced pop style go from unfashionable to trendy. Everything But the Girl Articles and Media Band formed in 1982 by Ben Watt and Tracey Thorn. Everything But The Girl signed with the Warner Music UK subsidiary Blanco Y Negro in 1984, but were dropped from the label 10 years later after Amplified Heart was released. It was bad timing for the label, who would be missing the hit remix of this track. Everything But the Girl Biography by Jason Ankeny + Follow Artist. A quiet, jazzy folk-pop duo who later expanded their sound to include electronica, drum'n'bass, and trip-hop. Read Full Biography. Overview ↓ Biography ...

[I ♥ ⌂ ♫] Reddit House Share and discover house music

2008.07.21 03:00 [I ♥ ⌂ ♫] Reddit House Share and discover house music

A place for House Music.
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2008.01.25 05:30 /r/Music

The musical community of reddit
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2009.06.25 15:59 jego /r/dnb

All things drum & bass.
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2020.09.25 21:35 IndependentEast3290 How do I find the strength to cut off my abusive and narcissistic mother?

(I apologize in advance for the long, rambling post - I just needed to get this off my chest and I had no idea how to write any of this. Posting from a throwaway because I don't want this linked to my main).
Hi guys! I'm a 16-year-old girl, currently a senior in high school living with my single mother (since I was five). This story starts a long way back lol, so please bear with me (feel free to skip ahead though).
My parents got married because of family pressure (traditional Indian family), but my mother never wanted to marry my father. She claims he gave her "bad vibes" right from the start. Sure enough, he was an abusive alcoholic, disloyal, and a psychopath. I was born to salvage their marriage. The reasoning was that if my mom gave my dad a child, he would love her because he would love me. That didn't happen, unfortunately, because I am female and not male. The result was a messy divorce when I was two years old, then 50-50 custody. That ended when I was five as my father was convicted of molesting me and trying to rape me from the age of 3. As it is, his abuse broke her in so many ways, but I think what he did to me pushed her over the edge (relevant later).
My grandparents raised me for the better part of my childhood. They are wonderful people and I really do love them from the bottom of my heart, but they always made me feel dirty and inferior because of my dad. During this time, my mother worked long hours to support us and was my "angel". I worshipped the ground she walked on and lived only for her. She was perfect in my eyes.
That started changing when I was 9. Her work became less demanding and she started spending more time with me. This led to her becoming very violent, both orally and physically. She constantly told me how she should have aborted me and how much she hated me and my father for ruining her life. She would beat me bloody, and at times, unconscious. But she also held me and told me she loved me, fed me my favorite foods, and took me to the beach when she had time. So I rationalized her behavior as being my fault. If I hadn't been born, she would have remarried and been happy.
Things were manageable until I started middle school and was exposed to more... mature material. I have always been an avid reader, but young adult novels often contained explicit content. When my mom found out, she threatened to sell me into prostitution, describing how lines of men would bid on me and rape me all night. She said that was what I deserved since I already did it with my father, and I loved it. I was a born prostitute. As a result, I stopped reading altogether to please her, but the abuse (especially the beatings ) kept getting worse. Finally, one day, I snapped. And I did the unthinkable - I hit her back. Hard. As a nationally-ranked athlete, I did hurt her and sent her flying across the room. I immediately apologized, but something in our relationship broke that day.
Everything after that is history. I have since learned to control my strength and anger, only pushing her away when the beatings are too intense, but constant calls to the police (too many to count by now), threatening to give me a life sentence for attempted murder (light shoves) and pornography (I've never even watched porn) and threatening to file court cases detailing how I'm a threat to society have left me emotionally and mentally exhausted. The physical abuse has stayed about the same actually, but the verbal and psychological abuse has gotten MUCH worse from what I described in the last paragraph.
Rationally, I know she's manipulative and narcissistic. She meets all the "criteria" (that sounds wrong but for lack of a better word):
  1. Guilt-tripping - “I’ve done everything for you and you’re so ungrateful.”
  2. Blaming - “It’s your fault that I’m not happy.”
  3. Shaming - “You are an embarrassment to the family and a black mark on our good name.”
  4. Comparing - “Why can’t you be as good as me? I am so smart and was such a bright student.”
  5. Pressuring - “You WILL perform at your best to make me proud.”
  6. Manipulative rewarding and punishing: “If you don’t live the way I want and do what I want, I will cut off my support.”
  7. Emotional coercing: “You’re not a good daughter unless you measure up to my expectations.”
But when she's not talking, just standing there or cooking or doing something she loves, I look at her and see the same loving woman who held me and bought me cotton candy, sang me lullabies, and fought the world to keep me safe.
I can't bring myself to cut her off emotionally. The rest of my family (grandparents, aunts, uncles) keep telling me that as soon as I get out of high school and go to college, I need to live in a dorm and become independent. But my mom wants me to continue living at home even in college and I don't think I have the strength to say no to her... because she really is just a lost, broken woman who needs love and attention.
Any advice?
tl;dr - My mom is abusive and narcissistic but I can't find it in me to cut her out of my life when I am independent/off to college. Any advice?
submitted by IndependentEast3290 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:31 Clear-Asparagus-9706 My relationship feels like it’s collapsing and I’m looking for thoughts or ideas to help save it.

So this will be a long post but if you enjoy a long read with some drama then please sit back and enjoy while I pour my heart and soul out here looking for advice, or thoughts.
So a bit of background, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years and have lived together for almost 4. We’ve had some ups and downs like any couple but I really always felt like I could trust him in a way that I’ve never been able to trust anyone else. There is an age difference and it’s very possible that is the root of all this and I’ll get to that later. I recently turned 40 and he’s 24. I was very reluctant to get into this relationship believing that our different places in life would be an issue. He being young and optimistic wanted to try and after a while I was only to happy to try because the more I got to know him the more I loved him. He made me feel love and loved like I hadn’t ever before in my life.
I work full time and spend a great deal of time out of town. I work about 80 hours a week not including the time I spend at hotels because of the nature of the work. My boyfriend being an introvert like myself was always seemingly content at home and besides going to college for a while he was never employed until recently and spent all of his free time at home and this arrangement seemed to work for us both. I was only too happy to take care of him and it was worth it to enjoy his company when I was home. He was my best friend.
So about 2 years into our relationship I fucked up. I have had self esteem issues my entire life and when I’d be feeling kinda low I decided to post nudes on Reddit (this was actually how me and my boyfriend met). After we started our relationship we both stoped posting on Reddit and I didn’t think about it for a long time but after a while I decided to do it again. I rationalized it by saying to myself it’s only online and not real. So I’d make a throw away post some pics and enjoy having my ego stroked by guys or girls saying I looked so hot and sexy then delete.
I did this a few times and then one day my boyfriend sees them and obviously recognizes me. He was deeply hurt and confronted me about it. I felt like shit for hurting him just to stroke my ego. He even apologized because he felt he was violating our relationship by going on Reddit to look at porn in secret. I told him that it didn’t bother me that he looked at porn and what I did was a lot worse. So that was how I hurt him and opened a can of worms.
This lead to us having discussions about sex and monogamy in our relationship. We both thought maybe opening our relationship a bit could be fun. We both posted some pics together on Reddit of us having sex. I think we both enjoyed being adventurous and I struck up friendships with a couple of the guys we chatted with. In at least one case it bothered him that I would text a guy who we met on our joint Reddit account when we were both at home together.
At the time the way it aggravated him annoyed me because he did things that aggravated me also and I was messaging him from our joint account and I felt everything was above board and since I’m not doing anything wrong I shouldn’t feel bad. He also made some text friends on that account too.
So about that time a year ago he and I talked about if we’d ever want to really be more adventurous sexually and we both downloaded Grindr as a way of seeing what’s out there in our community. I naively thought maybe it could be used for socializing and maybe making some gay friends in our local area could be good but it was just guys lookin for sex and weirdos in our area. I haven’t been on it in about a year and I had basically forgot about those discussions we had as life went on and things stayed routine until about a month ago.
So a month ago I spent most of the day with my boyfriend and everything is normal and I get called to go to work out of town. We kiss and say goodbye and everything as normal. I’m driving to work and my boyfriend calls me and says “hey so I met this guy on Grindr and he seems like a really cool guy I’m not sure if I’m actually gonna do anything with him or not but I wanna go meet up with him is that ok?”
I was totally blindsided and in shock. I had no idea he was still going on Grindr for anything let alone talking to someone who he’d actually decided to consider meeting up with that day while I’m out of town. It was a lot for me to process so quickly blindsided on the phone before work when it’s not like I had an opportunity to really talk about it or resolve it. I basically said no please don’t and let’s talk about it when I get home.
So I go through 48 hours of hell at a hotel and upon returning I explain to him how I really felt blindsided and hurt because I didn’t know he was looking for something and I’m not comfortable with this. Even when we had talked about it before I imagined it as maybe something we could explore together but he had been doing this on his own without my knowledge and basically decided to clue me in at the last minute before going over to meet the guy. He had obviously been thinking about it that day but never said a word until then. I suppose I should be grateful I got that. I also interpreted his reluctance to bring it up as an admission that he knew this was not something I’d be ok with or happy about otherwise why hide it from me until now. I asked him several times if you thought I’d be ok with this why was it never brought up?
He asked me point blank to tell him if he could go do it or not and I said I’m not going to control you. You do what’s in your heart and what you really want and then I’ll deal with that. I was trying to express you’re your own boss and if you really want to meet with this guy knowing I’m not comfortable with it and that it’ll hurt me then I guess you can and I won’t stop you but it might destroy our relationship.
So about a week goes by and I’m laying down for bed before another work trip about to commence and just as I’m falling asleep he says to me “so the guy I was talking to on Grindr is wanting to get together tonight and I was wondering if I could go meet him someplace”
I just couldn’t fucking believe it, I was being asked if it was ok for him to go out at like 11pm to meet this guy who he started talking to on Grindr. He emphasizes that he’s not going to do anything but he just really wants to meet this guy as a friend because he’s so awesome and how I’m always telling him he should try to make more friends.
That’s totally true I had said that and meant it sincerely but I guess I wasn’t expecting his first real friend he decided to make was a guy on Grindr and in the context of possibly hooking up at first. So we have it out again and I’m like look I don’t want you to meet this guy but I do want you to have friends. He keeps trying to get me to tell him that he can or he can’t go and I try to say again you’re your own boss and I won’t do that but if you do it’s your choice and I’ll just have to deal with it.
I was so angry that night and felt betrayed and scared. I couldn’t understand this happening and I was so pissed because I really thought I had expressed the hell he caused me in the first place and had made it clear this was not something I wanted him to do but he did it anyways because I didn’t tell him no.
I was so angry that night and he said he wanted everything to go back how it was and so did I and I went to bed with him after I said we’d work on it and laying there I felt so hurt and betrayed I got mad and told him I was mad. This stuck with him and hurt him that I was so angry at him about this.
So another week goes by and nothing is said and life seemed to go back to normal. Then once again right before I go to work he tells me hey so remember that guy I told you about. Well I met up with him and he’s really cool and you’ve got nothing to worry about and how they’re just gonna be friends.
Turns out the pics he posted on Grindr were misleading and he’s quite a bit fatter in real life and he’s actually married to another guy as well. So nothing for me to worry about they won’t be doing anything physical.
During that week while I was out of town I had wondered if he would go meet up with this guy but I actually didn’t think he would and hearing this really hit me hard. It confirmed my worst paranoid fears at this point. Despite the discomfort I felt about it, well it was done now and so it was just as I had said. He did what he wanted to do and now I had to process it and decide how to react. He reassured me that this guy was just a friend and he really connected with him and how it’s hard for him to do that. It’s true, it’s not easy for my boyfriend to make friends so I tried to grit my teeth and bare it. I went to work wanting to talk more about it when I got home.
I sent him texts expressing how troubled I was by this and told him I’d be home at midnight and I got done just a bit early and got home at about 11:30 pm. Nobody was home, and low and behold guess where he had been while I was at work. Over at his new friends house until the very last minute. I was super devastated and crushed. He could see that now more than ever as I was a total wreck. He insisted that they’re just hanging out as fiends but also admitted that night he “kinda” wanted to do sexual stuff with him still but he won’t because it’s just friendly. He had been longing to connect with someone and get to know his mind. He feels a very strong connection with this guy.
I’ve lost it at this point, and I’m trying to process what’s happening because just a couple weeks ago I wouldn’t have thought this possible now I’m dealing with this nightmare. I try now to be the person I don’t want to be and save the relationship and say don’t go over there again and he says that’s not fair because now they’re friends and he takes his friendships seriously and it would hurt him deeply to end it. I could’ve forbidden him before from seeing him but since I didn’t now it’s too late.
He had done what he wanted to do and now when it was my turn I just couldn’t do what I was feeling because I loved him so much I was trying to hold onto him despite the fact that the holding on was killing my soul because I so desperately wanted him to stop doing something he wanted to do so badly.
So I came up with the best compromise I could make at being ok with it by saying look. If you guys are just friends then include me so we can all get to know each other and if I see you guys interacting in a way that makes me understand this as a friendship and nothing more I’ll be ok with it. He agreed or at least I thought he did.
So his friend leaves town for a while since he’s a travel worker also and this buys a little time. So a couple weeks go by and my boyfriend and I got back into our routine. I thought about the ways I had been failing as a boyfriend with my long work hours and not prioritizing him in my life sometimes and tried making changes I hoped would make his desire for this unusual friendship less, and for a bit I thought it helped.
But as soon as he was back in town my boyfriend is telling me he wants to go over there and hang out again while I’m out of town. I lose my shit again because I was working so hard to try to accept something that weird to me and I’m trying to see it his way but it still wasn’t enough and he felt so compelled to want to get over there any chance he has.
So now I’m really at the end of my rope, my schedule and his friends schedule hasn’t lined up for us to all meet sometime. It seems to be aggravating my boyfriend to the point it’s obvious to me he’s frustrated that I’m not ok with them just hanging out all hours whenever while I’m out of town.
I know why it bothers me, this is a guy who he met on Grindr and he told me they exchanged pictures and both liked each other. He’s admitted to me that he still is kinda interested in doing stuff with him sexually but that he won’t because of me but I’m thinking that’s going to lead to resentment as well. In our conversations about all this he’s admitted I’m really the only guy he’s had good sex with and that I’m his only serious relationship.
This is where the age factor hits hard. I’m older and I’ve had other relationships. I’ve had enough sex partners to not be curious what else is out there. It’s probably normal for him to want to explore more and everything but for me I can’t just be on board for that. Especially not like this because the way it’s played out has just been so hard on me. For those who are wondering his new friend is also older than he is he’s in his mid thirties.
I still trust my boyfriend a lot and if he told me he’s just hanging out and nothing sexual is going on I believe him but that’s because I know what a unique person my boyfriend is and how it is hard for him to connect with people and make friends. I DO NOT trust his new friend like that and my suspicion is that he probably has ulterior motives on some level but I don’t know I’ve never met him. Perhaps he appreciates a great intellect like my boyfriend but I’m sure would enjoy for it to be more than friendly if he got the chance. I would also be surprised if he didn’t at least try to push it in that direction.
I’ve been in hell for a month. My boyfriend could’ve done all this completely behind my back and I’d probably have never known so that has to show on some level he’s telling the truth as he perceives it but I’m not sure I can ever be ok with him hanging out with his Grindr friend until late at night while I’m out of town.
I can’t control him and maybe my first impulse is correct and I shouldn’t be telling him that he needs for us all to spend time together for me to learn to accept it as something other than what it seems to be. Maybe I should just go back to saying do whatever you want and I’ll either be ok with it or not but trying to control him or worrying about what he’s doing is killing me. If I can’t accept this then I guess that’s my problem but I’m terrified of being alone again but it would be less painful than what I feel now.
The question for anyone who’s made it through this struggle session is what do you think as an outsider? Am I correct for feeling betrayed? Did I bring this on myself for opening up a relationship that at one point wasn’t because of my low self esteem? Is his behavior normal for a guy in his 20s and were the seeds of this planted when I decided to date a guy so much younger who hadn’t fully developed his mature attitudes and personality? I’m lost and depressed and basically looking for anything that might help me in how I’m looking at or thinking about things. Thank you
TLDR: my boyfriend wants to hang out with a guy he met on Grindr just as friends and I’m not ok with it and realize it might be my own fault for ending up in this situation now.
submitted by Clear-Asparagus-9706 to askgaybros [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:30 Prozirko CRUSH and ADVICE IN GENERAL

Okay, I know you get a lot of these and that they're annoying, but here I am [M16], trying to get some quality advice on what to do with my crush [F16]. I've had a crush on her for the past 9-10 months. We met a year ago when we started going to high school (our education system is a bit different here but it roughly translates to the American term) She's in my class, sits in the desk behind me. She's not that shy, talkative while with her friends. So far we've had no negative encounters, I don't think she dislikes me.
The main problem of mine is that annoying pubescent feeling of "love", it gets to the point where I am obsessing over certain thoughts of us together in like 8 years or so. I know about limerence and it's a huge pain, it's unreasonable. I am not usually irrational or unreasonable, but that annoying 2nd half of me has an equal vote when it comes to the subject of my thoughts. I realistically know that even if I prove to myself that my crush isn't purely physical and even if she likes me back by some chance, us being 16 makes no room for any "relationships" or whatever. I understand I am too young, I know it because, even thought I am told I am quite mature emotionally and in general, "love" is a whole other complex dimension that even fully developed adults struggle with. I am literally struggling on the first f-ing step of it.
I am not going to describe her fully because it's rather pointless: she's really cute/pretty, she is intelligent, she doesn't seem "basic", I know I shouldn't judge people but there are some really nasty girls out there, it's the same us boys of course. What I am trying to say is: I THINK I like her personality. She has a critical way of thinking just like I do, we even shout out the same exact words for an answer sometimes. From what I've gathered, we have a few things in common, but our convos are mostly school oriented/we make jokes about certain teachers/they're short but they don't feel dry or stupid at least in an obvious way, she doesn't respond with yes/no at first and she seems eager to agree (she's friendly in general), it's when I run out of material/jokes when it all crashes down, but gently. It's very hard to explain, there's probably nothing to analyse but I am a pretty analytical person. Not everything has a metaphor or a deeper meaning for goodness sake!!!
I try and ask her school related questions to form a friendly vibe, she answeres, doesn't sound annoyed, she even asks me something here and there. She complimented me several times last year and once this year. I know it doesn't mean anything, all I am saying is that I don't think she dislikes me whatsoever. I had excellent grades last year, this year I feel a bit disoriented (we had online school during the lockdown in which the majority of students including were left confused and a bit lazy). I am not bad so far, but puberty is kicking in and I am fighting it, so far I am doing good.
I just hate the butterflies in my stomach and the thoughts that being with her when I grow up is the only option or else I am going to die sad and alone. It's limerence... I hate the feeling that I am "going nowhere" with our conversations. The more I logically think about it, I just want to be good friends with her and maybe make a move when I am at least 17.5/18 (if the feeling is still present by then). I am sort of an artistic person, mostly film oriented and she told me she wanted to be a psychologyst last year. But the feelings are rushing me and making me impatient, how do you earn a friendship with a girl, are we compatible at all? I would hate to ask her questions about her interests because I feel like I do not have the right to do so, I am not her friend, who am I to do so, it's none of my business?!? My social skills are not at the highest level as you can see.
Another "complex" I've had since a young age is, whenever a girl acts friendly towards me (if she's persistent with it) I automatically think she likes me and I, ironically, turn to "self-defense mode". When I was 8 I literally tried to convice a girl to admit that she liked me because it all checked out.
----
There's a different girl that's one of the kindest people I've met, but I don't find her that physically attractive and for some reason, I find her annoying for being a good person. I just can't imagine me with her (it could just be a delusion that she likes me, there's no proof) and I feel offended by the thought of it. She's pretty nerdy and reads a lot of books and I am annoyed at that as well. (I used to be so obsessed over school, maybe that has something to do with it, maybe puberty is just making me make 180° turn. Like I said, I still do my assignments, but I just don't want to care more than the minimum I need to get to a good film/whatever related college. I realize it's important to a certain extent, but recently I've had bursts of thoughts that I am actually drifting away in the opposite direction now that I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK. Last year (1st grade of high school) was fine.) Am I just a narcissistic weirdo that believes that I have to have beautiful "trophy wife" by my side? Am I wrong for not liking her (back) I just feel like this:
I just picture myself being a famous/relatively succesful artist with my crush being my pretty and intelligent and successful wife. I just picture these stupid modern chivalry BS things all the time. I get so passionate by the thought of me being loyal to her to the very and, having kids, having a family, giving my all to them... You can probably guess the rest. I DON'T KNOW WHY I AM LIKE THIS, WHY HER, she's pretty, IS THAT THE REASON?!?
On the other hand, Petrarch was in a similar situation and even thought he was all grown up, he still couldn't do anything. It feels like a similaparallel story: His love was unachievable (even though my "love" in theory is), just like mine because of my age and even if he got to the point where something could've happened between him and Laura, I just can't imagine him doing anything when he finally got to his desired destination. I just feel that way. I've talked to my parents a bit, but not in such detail, I just find it easier to explain on paper. I know you guys have seen a million puberty affected teens with the same exact problem. Hope you can give me some advice, I am sorry that this is so messy and all but that's just how it is in my head, a weird collage.

MAIN POINTS
- How to befriend crush
- Why am I a mean narcissistic bastard (I am not mean to the girl at all of course)
Your answer will probably be related to me slowly letting my limerence die and focusing on hobbies, but that other part of me won't be satisfied unless you give it at least a few pieces of advice and a little bit of encouragement. Why are my feelings wrong, maybe I am right and I've found my soulmate or whatever? Unlikely, but not impossible... xD
submitted by Prozirko to mentalhealth [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:22 ImaginaryBroccoli6 Former Boss Tried to Sue Me For Legally Paying My Salary

I can finally say that this matter is resolved but I want to hear from you about this cunning and sadistic Bitch. My former boss was my best friends mom so she is technically an entitled parent. I posted this on entitled people just in case

I used to work In an over the phone salesman. Selling good to high profile clients. When I started I thought I hit the jackpot. Better pay, accepting atmosphere and overall a great place to work at. So I thought. One of the things I enjoyed working there is the atmosphere, you really get a long with everyone. I got the job from a close friend of mine. they said that the boss was pretty much looking for anyone and since i was eager to look for a job especially during covid.
I thought it was a dream come true, the pay was amazing and I didn't have to have any former experience. When I started working there however, I realized I have made a huge mistake. Not only was the Environment toxic, but so was my boss. Here is a list:
- No social Distancing (My boss is one of those people that think covid is just a government ruse)
- You don't get to leave the workplace until you have made 4 successful sales.
- My boss is a money hungry self centered whore.
that's just the few things but Finally was came my final weeks. I've only worked there for two months. But I started to dwindle down. Basically my sales were getting low. I mean not to be so rude but hello covid. NO one wants to make any sort of purchases that is not needed.

My final day: My boss warned me once about my failure and she decided to lay it out on me and pretty much embarrass me in front of the other worker. I won't say exactly what she said but basically it included my history of self harm. I don't know how I didn't rip into her but I stayed professionally. That Night I went yo mama on my boss. Basically calling her out on what she said to me and she felt no remorse. in her eyes, she just sees another employee being a bitch. I kept telling her that it IS FUCKING COVID 19. NO ONE IS MAKING ANY USELESS PURCHASES. she kept blasting me saying it was my own fault how I didn't push myself to do better. I then called her out for using my mental health when I told her in private about it during another workplace altercation when someone asked about scars. I was fed up and at that point she just didn't give a flying fuck.
So I quit.
I told her that I still expect to be paid for my time at work because it was 5 days before payday. She then had the audacity to say "I'm not paying you, your just a kid, be grateful you at least got the experience. I would never have hired you because I hate foreign scum like you" continuing on "I will only pay if it's my choice, and my choice is that I will not be paying you".
BITCH, YOU ARE FOREIGN IN THIS COUNTRY. YOUR BORN IN THE USA, I AM AT LEAST BORN IN ASIA.
So i decided to put the law on her ass. I showed her an image of the workers rules in my country and said " it says right there, at an event if worker quits/fired, employer must pay for time duration worker has done. funds are to be transferred in 72 hours, otherwise employee has right to sue". I basically said that this is the law and she can't avoid it. I may be only 19 years old. BUT I KNOW THE FUCKING LAW. AND I CAN SUE HER FOR EVERYTHING. INCLUDING THREATENING MY LIFE.
She said to go fucking head, she knows a teenager like me can never sue someone like her.

WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH, I WILL SUE.

I called my lawyer and told him what happened. Good news, I can make a case. He simply drawn up a sort of threatening lawsuit and sent it to my bosses email. Idk What he wrote but I can tell you when he typed down the email he was slamming his finger onto the keyboard. I can tell he was triggered. I mean who wouldn't when someone just threatened your life. Basically saying that if she doesn't pay the funds, she and her company will be sued for wrongful termination, withholding salary, Attempted murder.
The next day I get an angry call from my boss saying she is disgusted with me and this is why she hates foreigners (girl, you're the foreign one in this case, sorry not sorry). I get a notification On my phone stating the funds have been transferred. She hangs up and I go my marry way

End of story right? NOPE

I Got a call from my lawyer saying that HE got a call from my bosses lawyer stating that WE are being sued. Her reason? Harassment and threat of life. My lawyer simply asked my bosses lawyer what she said about me and what I heard later that It was complete BS. She said How I threatened HER life and I would mess her life because she called me out on my incompetence. My Lawyer simply told the lawyer, check your email. he checked it apparently and said my apologies.
I then get another angry call From my former boss telling me that she knows where I live, and that I should watch my back. my sweet angel, your on speaker... in front of my lawyer. My lawyer then ripped her a new one saying that if she doesn't stop harassing me, the threat of a lawsuit will become imminent. And evidence showing her poor workplace ethic and violent and toxic behavior. she will be a goner. She screamed on the phone and hung up.
I later blocked her number and have notified the security of my apartment to watch out for her. My lawyer was appalled by My former bosses behavior. saying how in his entire work life he has never met someone so dysfunctional.
The end

NOPE

Well she made her promise and actually went to my home address. She confronted me as I just left the mini mart with a gallon water tank. I told her that there are camera's here and my security are ready to pounce on her if she tries anything. I turned and she grabbed my hair Really hard and pulled it. I threw the Water tank at her and it exploded making her wet (that's what he said). She got up and i kicked her and grabbed her by the hair. I told her if she ever touches me, or comes anywhere near me I will kill her. I will make her suffer, she will understand my pain. I threw her off me and she ran.
Haven't heard from her since....

Tldr: my boss threatens my life and I quit, Legally she has to pay my salary. refuses to pay but lawsuit changed her mind, threatens to sue me only to get shutdown by her own lawyer. if that wasn't enough, she went to my home address and assaulted me. I threaten her life like she did mine and she ran away like the little bitch I thought she was.

Edit: I got notification by my lawyer that the company is being investigated for Fraud and Embezzlement.
submitted by ImaginaryBroccoli6 to entitledparents [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:19 ImaginaryBroccoli6 Former Boss Tried to Sue Me For Legally Paying My Salary

I can finally say that this matter is resolved but I want to hear from you about this cunning and sadistic Bitch.
I used to work In an over the phone salesman. Selling good to high profile clients. When I started I thought I hit the jackpot. Better pay, accepting atmosphere and overall a great place to work at. So I thought. One of the things I enjoyed working there is the atmosphere, you really get a long with everyone. I got the job from a close friend of mine. they said that the boss was pretty much looking for anyone and since i was eager to look for a job especially during covid.
I thought it was a dream come true, the pay was amazing and I didn't have to have any former experience. When I started working there however, I realized I have made a huge mistake. Not only was the Environment toxic, but so was my boss. Here is a list:
- No social Distancing (My boss is one of those people that think covid is just a government ruse)
- You don't get to leave the workplace until you have made 4 successful sales.
- My boss is a money hungry self centered whore.
that's just the few things but Finally was came my final weeks. I've only worked there for two months. But I started to dwindle down. Basically my sales were getting low. I mean not to be so rude but hello covid. NO one wants to make any sort of purchases that is not needed.
My final day: My boss warned me once about my failure and she decided to lay it out on me and pretty much embarrass me in front of the other worker. I won't say exactly what she said but basically it included my history of self harm. I don't know how I didn't rip into her but I stayed professionally. That Night I went yo mama on my boss. Basically calling her out on what she said to me and she felt no remorse. in her eyes, she just sees another employee being a bitch. I kept telling her that it IS FUCKING COVID 19. NO ONE IS MAKING ANY USELESS PURCHASES. she kept blasting me saying it was my own fault how I didn't push myself to do better. I then called her out for using my mental health when I told her in private about it during another workplace altercation when someone asked about scars. I was fed up and at that point she just didn't give a flying fuck.
So I quit.
I told her that I still expect to be paid for my time at work because it was 5 days before payday. She then had the audacity to say "I'm not paying you, your just a kid, be grateful you at least got the experience. I would never have hired you because I hate foreign scum like you" continuing on "I will only pay if it's my choice, and my choice is that I will not be paying you".
BITCH, YOU ARE FOREIGN IN THIS COUNTRY. YOUR BORN IN THE USA, I AM AT LEAST BORN IN ASIA.
So i decided to put the law on her ass. I showed her an image of the workers rules in my country and said " it says right there, at an event if worker quits/fired, employer must pay for time duration worker has done. funds are to be transferred in 72 hours, otherwise employee has right to sue". I basically said that this is the law and she can't avoid it. I may be only 19 years old. BUT I KNOW THE FUCKING LAW. AND I CAN SUE HER FOR EVERYTHING. INCLUDING THREATENING MY LIFE.
She said to go fucking head, she knows a teenager like me can never sue someone like her.
WELL GUESS WHAT BITCH, I WILL SUE.
I called my lawyer and told him what happened. Good news, I can make a case. He simply drawn up a sort of threatening lawsuit and sent it to my bosses email. Idk What he wrote but I can tell you when he typed down the email he was slamming his finger onto the keyboard. I can tell he was triggered. I mean who wouldn't when someone just threatened your life. Basically saying that if she doesn't pay the funds, she and her company will be sued for wrongful termination, withholding salary, Attempted murder.
The next day I get an angry call from my boss saying she is disgusted with me and this is why she hates foreigners (girl, you're the foreign one in this case, sorry not sorry). I get a notification On my phone stating the funds have been transferred. She hangs up and I go my marry way
End of story right? NOPE
I Got a call from my lawyer saying that HE got a call from my bosses lawyer stating that WE are being sued. Her reason? Harassment and threat of life. My lawyer simply asked my bosses lawyer what she said about me and what I heard later that It was complete BS. She said How I threatened HER life and I would mess her life because she called me out on my incompetence. My Lawyer simply told the lawyer, check your email. he checked it apparently and said my apologies.
I then get another angry call From my former boss telling me that she knows where I live, and that I should watch my back. my sweet angel, your on speaker... in front of my lawyer. My lawyer then ripped her a new one saying that if she doesn't stop harassing me, the threat of a lawsuit will become imminent. And evidence showing her poor workplace ethic and violent and toxic behavior. she will be a goner. She screamed on the phone and hung up.
I later blocked her number and have notified the security of my apartment to watch out for her. My lawyer was appalled by My former bosses behavior. saying how in his entire work life he has never met someone so dysfunctional.
The end
NOPE
Well she made her promise and actually went to my address. She confronted me as I just left the mini mart with a gallon water tank. I told her that there are camera's here and my security are ready to pounce on her if she tries anything. I turned and she grabbed my hair Really hard and pulled it. I threw the Water tank at her and it exploded making her wet (that's what he said). She got up and i kicked her and grabbed her by the hair. I told her if she ever touches me, or comes anywhere near me I will kill her. I will make her suffer, she will understand my pain. I threw her off me and she ran.

Haven't heard from her since....
Tldr: my boss threatens my life and I quit, Legally she has to pay my salary. refuses to pay but lawsuit changed her mind, threatens to sue me only to get shutdown by her own lawyer. if that wasn't enough, she went to my home address and assaulted me. I threaten her life like she did mine and she ran away like the little bitch I thought she was.
Edit: I got notification by my lawyer that the company is being investigated for Fraud and Embezzlement.
submitted by ImaginaryBroccoli6 to EntitledPeople [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:18 tlanea89 A Deep Reflection - Dealing with Grief/Loss?

It’s worse now. Now that I’m not crying every day or even every week it gets so much worse when I do. I’ve had 2 pretty major panic episodes over the last week. One day it was like 5 straight hrs of feeling like I was some sort of electrical conduit. It felt like my skin was almost fluttering on my wrists and forearms then up to my shoulders, like it had wings and was going to just lift off of my body at any moment. That was a new experience... and when I finally figured out what the trigger was which was so so stupid btw, it was 3 am and I felt like an idiot. A tired idiot. I mean I could’ve taken a Valium but I’ve needed to take them more than before because the panic gets really bad. I mean to the point that it’s 2 am and I’m still pacing and I just took 20 mgs to make me sit down.
It’s fucked up dude, I get so stuck in my head I can’t leave the house. All my clocks are set 20 mins fast just so I can make it somewhere on time.
I am and am not okay both at the same time. It makes no fucking sense.
It feels like a war inside again. It hasn’t been this bad in a really long time.
I’m sensitive, always have been but this is weird. Some days I’m fucking concrete, other days I’m lost at sea... I have my fuckin dumb broad moments as any female does but I do try to rein it in and after I see I’ve been an ass I’m gonna apologize. Even with D****, and I flat told him I don’t wanna even talk about getting back together but I said some shitty things to him when we were fighting so when I cooled down I apologized. He apologized too, and I’m sure he has some idea that he’ll win me back or whatever the fuck when he gets back from Taos in a couple of weeks but tbh that ship has sailed. Fool me twice ya know. And over something as trivial as a damn video game. Fuck your PlayStation and get out of my face then.
I almost had my sleep schedule switched back to days and then D**** and I had our bs and broke up again and Idk between that and the dreams about Alecia and just... life before, ya know, life - dude I haven’t been to some of the places on my family’s property that I’ve seen in my recent dreams in 20 or more years. Some of the structures aren’t even standing anymore. Like B****’s place is completely different now, there was a shed right on his side of the property that we’d sit in and smoke cigs and bullshit in back in high school.
[The shed] it’s gone now. I looked for it the day of her funeral.
And the panic is like it’s own little monster inside my stomach and chest. It sits mostly, sometimes it moves a little. But when I’m in that panic/fight or flight mode it takes twice as much whiskey or meds whichever way I go. Daytime meds don’t change unless I taper down, I don’t have any days that I take more than 10 and for at least a solid week this month I tapered down from 10mg a day to 2.5 just to give myself a break. It sucks balls because when I don’t take the full dose it’s very apparent and my symptoms get really hard to manage. That’s when I get stuck really hard and end up pacing all night. If I take the 10mgs a day like I’m supposed to it mostly levels everything out with the occasional hypersensitivity that comes anytime I’m reminded of her.
But the restlessness is the hardest thing... it feels like I have to keep moving but have nowhere to go.
I don’t like violence. Like you have to make me furious and hurt my heart at the same time for me to want to actually hit someone and I’m guarded enough that most people don’t ever get close enough to even touch the emotions required for all that. When we were kids, when people asked me why I never hit back I never could explain it but looking back it’s easy. Every time I actually got that synergistic combination of just the right amount of angry and sad, my fear of hurting someone would kick in and then I wasn’t mad anymore, just hurt. So then it was like I almost couldn’t hit them. Like my gut wouldn’t let me do it. Even further, I felt really bad afterwards for two polar opposite reasons: 1. I felt guilty for being mean or in my perception “causing “ the fight even if I had tried to avoid it at all costs. (I didn’t always, once I talked some shit back pretty hard so that one I knew I had coming, I was just already in too deep to shut my mouth - probably protecting someone that was usually a prime reason for me to talk shit 🤷🏼‍♀️) This would lead to more self-doubt because I couldn’t identify what I was doing to make myself a target. And 2: I felt guilty because I knew when I got home I would have to explain to my bio Mom why I didn’t hit the girl back. I also felt weak for not being able to bring myself to defend myself physically when I probably should have. Sometimes I wonder if that’s even normal. If not, what happened to me to make me that way?
Am I defective? 😂
It’s the mental/emotional ties that get me the most, I think. I don’t connect like other people do. I don’t know why. I just know, somehow, I don’t fit.
Maybe there just isn’t room for me.
I used to be more social and wanted to be friendlier, now I’m just friendly enough to be polite enough to make my exit. Like I think I want to connect for a hot minute but then I start to see the bs like with D****. He didn’t really do anything that bad, not like betrayal level. No cheating, never put hands on me, but the second the video games became an issue - as in I’m calling your name enough times - I was just getting out of the shower and needed a towel - from a wall away with an open door after you just told me to enjoy my shower and call you when I need a towel, that I finally get pissed off and go get it my damn self - I realized I was settling and cold feet doesn’t even begin to cover it, that shit was frost bitten.
And this time I don’t even feel guilty about it [leaving him]. That’s what always made me go back to abusive ass people. That and abandonment, I’m pretty sure I have this deep rooted subconscious belief that I’m incapable of being loved by another person because I’m such a dickbag. A lovable dickbag, but a bag of dicks nonetheless. I annoy the fuck out of myself. I can’t imagine I’m very much more tolerable for other people. 🤷🏼‍♀️ I think as I get older I’m starting to notice a little bit more of my Grandpa in me. Like don’t hate the player, hate the game. If y’all didn’t be fucking around with my emotions my soft ass wouldn’t be like this and now I’m just a tiny bit more comfortable with just being the asshole when it’s called for instead of holding it all back and cowering like I’m scared to speak up until it’s pent up and blows like a damn volcano. No fucking chill dude. None. But hey, if a little slip of brutal honesty in the moment is what it takes to keep me in the moment and out of my head it’s better than a few alternatives I can think of.
Almost 3:30 again, still can’t quite sleep. Tired. Exhausted. But still so many thoughts. So many things to figure out. Is it like this for everyone or just me?
The spacing on my notes bothers me if it isn’t exact. I feel like I have to go back and check every so often just to make sure it’s right or it doesn’t “feel right”.
Finally feel like I can fall asleep. 3:38 AM
2nd dose of Adderall @ 12:30 PM No Valium in 2 days.
submitted by tlanea89 to TooAfraidToAsk [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:17 she_go_ Meet me in the basement.

I wish you could feel my pain of being in a room with you and realizing you won’t look at me no matter what I say or do you. I long for you to look at me. I long for you to speak to me. I long for you to notice I exist. All I ask is for you to speak in my direction. My mental health has become such a burden to the point where you can’t even look or start a conversation with me. You dread it. You can’t wait to get away or end a conversation. What happened. What did I do? I trusted you and showered you with love and kind words. You told me to not be silent about my feelings and that everything I feel is valid and “not stupid”. But after I opened up, you took those words and feelings and talked badly about me to my best friend. You know that’s the opposite of what I need right now. I already think everyone is out to get me. I wore my heart on my sleeve and I sacrificed almost all I had just for you to not even look at me. I’ll forever be waiting for a gesture. A kiss. A touch. A laugh. A word. A glance. Like you said... and you were right, I’m a low maintenance girl, yet you can’t even do the smallest gestures that you do for everyone else around you. I never wanted you to kiss my feet and shower me with gifts and jewels. All I wanted to do was take your hand , without hesitation, and show you the city....My city.... I wanted to hold you on that bench on river st and watch the show boats slowly go by as nostalgic 60’s jazz lounge music plays throughout the city bars. I wanted to see you smile in the city lights. I wanted to take your hand and lead you through the old pirate city, just to turn around and see you in awe of my city as the river lights bounce off your perfectly pin curled blonde hair. I wanted to make you smile. I wanted to make you happy. Unfortunately, you were also right about something else. You get everything you want, and you always have. So once you realized that you didn’t want me, you had to have him. Once he showed you 1/18 of the love that I’ve been giving you, you ran. So far. Even next to you, you feel states away. Why did you change. Is it the way I look? The way I sound? The way I smell? The way I dress? The way I sleep? The way I live? The way I love? What made you suddenly despise me? What makes you jump back every time I touch you or accidentally brush up against you? i can see the way you cringe when you talk to me, and I don’t know why. I just need comfort and so do you. I’m so scared to lose you again, because I know I’ll never see you again, and I’ll never see your notifications again, and unfortunately that was the only thing that would get me out of bed. I know that if I don’t put all my energy in, I won’t get a drop of yours. I just no longer have the energy to be the fuel of this relationship. I don’t want to reach out first anymore because I know how much of a burden I am, and I hate to bring you down. But I’ll wake up every morning praying I’ll have a missed call from you, because those days were always the easiest. Remember how you said I was low maintenance? I just want you to accept my affection without making me feel crazy. I just want to talk like we used to. I just wanted to be a character in your story. You live your life as a movie and so do I. Only difference in our movies is that you’re the main character in mine, and in yours I’m just the waitress that dropped off a basket of bread that you thought was cute. Sadly, you can’t force a plot when the writer doesn’t think it looks good to the audience. If you wanted to hide my name from the world, I like the name Jordyn. I just wish so badly to be in your journal. In your arms. In your mind. In your heart...You told me you loved me. Remember? In the basement? But I know I’ll never be smart enough. I’ll never be funny enough. I’ll never be talented enough. I’ll never be.... him. You see right through me. You’ll step on me to get to what you want..... and I care about you so much that when you step on me I’ll hoist you up even further with the energy that I don’t have. I’ve given you everything and I will continue to do so until I can look up and see you finally looking back at me. You know you can always find me waiting for you in the hall.
submitted by she_go_ to heartbreak [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:16 gal_incognitoo I (22F) am super depressed at home with my family. I need advice

I finished university this year and thanks to COVID I couldn’t have a graduation or enjoy my last few months of living away from home. I started a new relationship for the first time in 3 years, and since lockdown it’s been incredibly difficult for me but we have coped with everything really well.
I have never had a very good relationship with my father. I can’t be honest with him about things because he is incredibly aggressive, patronizing and quick tempered so our relationship has always been based around me pretending I’ve never had an issue with him or the way he treats me, my brothers and my mum. When I moved to university I felt so at peace and free, but now I feel like I have gone back 10 steps.
Dad is super dramatic and has taken COVID very seriously, as we all should, but he takes it a little too seriously. He didn’t leave the house for 6 months (he has no health issues and is in his 50’s) and is strict about me leaving the house to do anything, particularly see my boyfriend.
Everytime I ask to see my boyfriend (24) I get lectured about COVID and how if I ended up catching it and passing it on he’d never forgive me. He’s recently told me that seeing my boyfriend once a week is more than enough, and if I see him anymore often it will raise the risk of me catching something. As you can probably tell, my dad seriously affects my relationship. I am treated like a child and my boyfriend is the one who suffers.
I am about to start a masters degree at a local university, but when I spoke to my mum about moving into a flat for the year she told me it would be a waste of money, so now I’m stuck here.
I am so unhappy in my house. When I’m not doing chores for everybody else (I’m the only girl), I sit around all day doing nothing, watching all of my friends do what they want and listening to my boyfriend tell me how much he misses me. I can’t go for a walk or for a drive anywhere without it being a big deal. I can’t even go for a run by myself because my dad doesn’t like it and insists someone goes with me.
Can anybody make sense of my situation? How do I explain to my boyfriend that my parents (mainly dad) are causing me to stress about me and him? How do I confront my dad about the way he treats me without it turning into a huge blowout? How do I go about moving out of my house when I have no money? Somebody please fucking help me. Right now, I fucking hate my life.
Yes, there are people out there who have it MUCH worse, I know that, but my mental health is hanging by a fucking thread.
submitted by gal_incognitoo to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:15 dejandric Encouragement

I was where you are right now. Broken, sad, depressed... There are no words to say when someone is leaving you. How you act is important. This is my breakup story started in May 2020 and all until September 2020. From broken and shattered, to lonely and alone, all the way up to strong and confident is a long journey. I and my ex were together for a year. The relationship was some bit serious, and there was even planing for life together. Some of you were in similar situations, and to some that are going through this, you are not alone.
May 1st, my ex called me and said she is leaving me. The reasons for her to leave me were made up, probably to make it easy, because who likes breakups? I was down, the first day was so hard because I thought It Isn't true. I could barely eat for the next few days, I was feeling anxious and depressed. And as days went on, It was just harder. Days without sleep and waking up in the middle of the night.
After two weeks, I decided to search for help from my friends. I choose only the closest ones, the ones that I could fully trust. After a month I stumble onto a guy on YouTube, called TheDatingGuy. I watched (and am still watching) his videos about life, relationships, and love. His videos helped me to stay calm and get my shit together.
Then something weird happened, after a month and a half since breaking up. Just as love happens ONTO SOMEDAY, the same goes for FORGETTING someone. Since I was focusing on me and my career, I was completely occupied with new things and new people around me. I can't tell you the exact day when I got better, but It happened. I slept normally after almost two months and I eat properly without hard swallowing. Soon after I met a new girl in the bar, but she was just a rebound. Also, I removed my ex from all social media platforms. That wasn't playing games or something like that. I was doing it to make it better for myself.
After three months, my ex started spying on me, as she had no idea what was I up to. I also removed her friends from my social media, as I wanted completely to heal. She was in the same places where I was, and in the same bars where I was. For me, that was pathetic, because she was the one that broke up. After four months, I got surrounded by more girls and new friends, but never even think about going into a relationship.

They told me If I get first new girlfriend than she would get a new boyfriend, then I win the breakup. I didn't look at it that way. Today, after five-plus months I saw her for the first time after a month or something. She dyed her hair into green because she couldn't get any attention from anyone. I won a long time ago because a person that is unsatisfied with himself can't do any better in life. She was toxic, bitter, and always blaming me for everything. I wasn't perfect, but I admitted my mistakes.
The point is, when change happens, tables are turned. But, you can't fake change and do it just for someone. It has to be natural and it takes time....
submitted by dejandric to BreakUp [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:14 JazzyLev21 I hate existing but I'm too much of a coward to die

I'm 15. I feel so fucking selfish because I know there are so many people that have lived through so much worse than I have. I feel selfish because I know I'll hurt so many people if I go. But on the other hand, what is there really to live for? I used to be an excellent student and loved school and learning, but ever since my parents took me out of public school and made me finish my 8th grade year at home (it's a long story and it really messed me up), I haven't been the same. Last year I still managed to make A's and B's, but I was not mentally stable in the least. And now this year, I'm literally failing everything. I'm taking 3 AP's because normal motivated me would be able to handle that... but I'm not that me. I haven't been that me in almost 2 years. I'm failing everything and my teachers are all really nice and being super cooperative to help me catch up but I'm still unable to be motivated to do anything. I always feel numb and empty and alone and I've thought multiple times about just dropping out, which is something 1st semester of 8th grade me would never have considered if things got hard. But I don't think I'll be able to catch back up no matter what I try because I'll just give up, and in the state I'm in taking easier classes won't help. Normal me would push when it got to crunch time, but this me just shuts down and gives up and I don't know what to do. I hate this me and I can't see myself ever being the version of me I can love ever again. My mom doesn't even believe I have depression and resorts to superstitious shit (to be clear I'm a Christian but my mom is literally unreasonable) and my dad doesn't understand that no matter how hard I try or how badly I want to do something depression doesn't care. I hate this feeling and if I'm never going to feel like myself again what's the point in going on? Who am I doing it for?
And as my title implies, I absolutely hate existing, but I don't have the guts to actually just end it all. It's so painful to live and it would have been better had I never existed in the first place. But now there are people that care about me that would hate to see me go even though I'm of absolutely no benefit to them. Now that I'm here I have that damned instinct to survive and fear death.
I see the state of the world, I see the state of my country (America), and as a black bisexual girl (only romantically attracted to women) I feel so powerless. I want to stop all the evils and hate in the world but I haven't got the power. I see the Christian church using God's Word as an excuse to spread hate, malice, and to breed fear, and it makes my blood boil. I know not everyone here is religious, but I wanted to throw that in. I can't stop any of this no matter what I do.
I can't let go of anything. I've had a crush on a singular straight girl since 7TH GRADE. That's 30 months now (I found a diary entry from when I first started crushing on her and I put a date on it). She's not even all that and yet I can't get her out of my head. I don't know why I care so much about her, and even if I do manage to get over her I want someone to be interested in me but I don't know why they genuinely would be.
And yet none of this is relevant if I never feel like myself again. I'll never be able to do anything to make a change, I won't really care about being in a relationship, I'll never be a good student again if I can't just get over my depression, which is something I know I can't just do.
And as you've learned my reading this post, my head is a mess and I'm trapped inside of it. So what's the point? What do I do? How can I make it stop?
submitted by JazzyLev21 to SuicideWatch [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:11 gl0ckittyy boyfriend is hiding stuff from me

so my boyfriend is bisexual (he is attracted to boys and girls, but he said he likes girls more) so he has a friend who he has known for years (the friend is a boy) my boyfriend said he used to like him 3 years ago. One day he told me that he liked that guy again, but later said it was a prank (i have a suspicion that he is lying) my boyfriend shows me alot of love and is very clingy whenever i go over to his house but for some reason he doesn’t let me near his phone and didn’t want me looking at his playstation messages (he talks to his friend on there) I looked through the playstation messages anyway and there was nothing bad on there. (him and the friend were just having a normal conversation) his reasoning for not wanting me to look through his phone and playstation was because i apparently don’t trust him so he doesn’t want to let me look through his stuff (i don’t know if i should believe this) he also lies about playing games with him. his friend showed me their chat and it went like this. friend: join my party
boyfriend: why
friend: because i wanted to play apex
boyfriend: ok but don’t mention this to (my name)
so yeah he has been lying to me about playing with him (he even admitted it but said he lies because he doesn’t want me getting mad and saying that he likes his friend, but then again i don’t know if thats the truth)
my boyfriend also gets very angry if i say that he likes that guy and will yell and cuss at me then tell me to leave him alone (i have been saying it for months now because i’m paranoid, i love him so much and he means everything to me, i just can’t bare the thought of him having feelings for someone else)
so should i trust my boyfriend when he says he doesn’t like that guy? I know I probably seem crazy or ridiculous but like I said, I really love him and don’t want to lose him. (ps. My boyfriend has adhd and it causes him to lie alot since that is one of the symptoms)
submitted by gl0ckittyy to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:10 Amen_Brutherr What do i do?

Hello Reddit, it’s me again... I always seem to come back here when I don’t know where else to turn to... well here it goes.
I’m 20 years old, was about to join the military but then was told I have to wait another 6 months because of my reentry code.
I’m talking to a girl that’s from Tinder and she’s about an hour away from me, we hit it off pretty well but she’s short with her texts and I feel like what ever chemistry was found over text is now falling apart. We were supposed to hang out today but that might not happen.
I am struggling with depression and I feel like the only way to possibly cure it is by micro dosing on shrooms or even LSD. I’ve been going to the doctor but I’m struggling to keep up with appointments. I live in my dads basement and he doesn’t know anything about any of this and I’m pretty sure I’m never going to tell him either.
I’ve tried committing suicide over a dozen times, been in a psych ward a few times and I just feel like shit just keeps repeating and everything keeps happening again...
I grew up in not the best environment and I’ve been sexually assaulted when I was a kid a few times.
I’ve been to therapy and everything but it doesn’t seem to help at all...
Edit:
Two days ago I tripped on dxm I took 1500mg of tussin and even though I’m fine and I was kinda appreciative to be alive, I’m still just back in the same little spot.. I feel like all of this started around when my cousins made me first smoke spice, but at the same time I’m not even sure...
submitted by Amen_Brutherr to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:10 cowboy3023 OCTAHEDRON BUBBLE - REM SLEEP ABDUCTORS

OCTAHEDRON BUBBLE - REM SLEEP ABDUCTORS
We will be utilizing Angel Anon's instructions and simple format on how to construct a proper Octahedron Bubble. The original comment as well as the link is below. Be encouraged. With a little practice, your Bubble won't take up much time to construct at all.
btw. If you look inside the pictured Demon's eye, you will see a young lady or girl....
This Bubble is specifically targeting the demon(s)' energies and technologies who steal, kidnap and hold hostage victims in their REM sleep state. Victims are taken against their will to "cloning centers" or other areas either above or below ground on or off Planet Earth for the Demons' or Other's horrific pleasure to injure, torture, abuse and even murder; many victims are taken night by night on a routine basis. This Bubble is to bind the Demons their "helpers," the Makers, the Technology and Others; to be bound INDIVIDUALLY and then to bind them ALL TOGETHER in one big sticky, putrid, slimy, sickening mess of their own iniquity. For the sake of brevity, will simply designate them as "demons".
In Summary-- Fashion the shape of an Octahedron with no seams. The demon(s) will be encased. Mirrors on the inside. Nothing escapes. Mirrors on the outside. Nothing gets in. Squeeze out every photon of light leaving them in complete and total abject darkness with their own demonic filth and iniquity. As you pull their own filth out of their Solar Plexus gut, cover them top to bottom; stuffing into every orifice. Putrid, sickening slimy stench.
The one feature added here will also be a strap about the width of a horse rein lined with thick, sharp spikes spaced about an inch apart and fastened facing inside to be wrapped around a specific body part. Meant to cause extreme and immense pain but nothing compared to the pain they inflict upon innocent victims. Since this demon's face is pictured, we'll wrap the face, eyes, mouth, nose, shoulders and arms to pin the arms since they like snatching innocent victims in their sleep; and the eyes since they like watching victims suffer. Pull the wrap tight, tight and even tighter. That should do just fine.
IN THE NAME OF ALIHA ASUR HIGH AND BY ORDER OF EL AKU ALIHA ASUR HIGH.
NOW! NOW! NOW! 3-2-1 BREAK!
If you are a victim, friend or relative reading this, you know who you are and I will not name you for your own protection. Comments and Private messages are always welcome. This Bubble is clearly intended to help VICTIMS. Now, if you're here to try and throw STAINK on this Post, you will be BUBBLED as well as the Energies have already been set to include you. Soooo, I won't be addressing the STAINK should it appear. Don't waste my time and energy.!!!
Below is Angel Anon's original Post.
OCTAHEDRON BUBBLE
Okay, then! By private request, here are the instructions for how to "bubble" someone in his/her own energies. Right now, I admonish to use this only on haters who are hurting you or others and trying to stop the flow of good energies until we can get to the understanding of the Law of Immunity.
Also know: Until you have greater Knowledge, this bubble won't last for more than a week, so you might have to remake it, sometimes daily, if you intend for the hater to be destroyed by his/her own hate, which if they are chronic, they should be. Their way out, which there always is one, is to become righteous, stop hating and do the right thing. Otherwise, be destroyed by their own hate. It's their choice, and all you've done is put that on a burner that becomes their priority, whether they are aware of it or not. Their innate will know -- it's for their consciousness to listen to their innate. You are not required to tell them a thing at this point. Let them figure it out. They will, or they won't. Still their own choice.
Next thing to know: Spirit energies obey thought, so a clear mental picture is the fastest way to achieve a manifestation of one's intent. The difference between imagination and vision is that imagination is kept inside the head; vision is projected out, out there where everything is happening, out there where it has an effect.
For this particular type of bubble, we'll use an octahedron: two pyramids, one right side up, one upside down, attached at the square bases. Naturally occurring, look at a fluorite crystal, if you can find a good picture of one isolated. Okay. So take the target, reach out your own spirit hand (it stretches to infinity, so you can be anywhere and still reach the target), grab the target by the solar plexus and pull their own energies right out of their guts, and with a beam from your third eye, form it into the octahedron with them inside of it completely. Make it into a single-piece construction, no seams, so it's not vulnerable through any seams. Remember, nothing escapes, nothing penetrates.
Now, with that same beam out of your third eye (comes out approx. from between your eyebrows), install by vision that the inner layers of that octahedron become a mirror, and everything that is put out by the target is reflected back upon themselves only. Now do the same thing for the outside of the bubble. Anything coming at that target is deflected, so that target cannot use it for spiritual feeding. Even if the target thrives on hate, it will require the hate of others, and will quickly use up its own supply, which cuts off its feeding source. Starvation by isolation.
If the spirit dies, the body will follow. It's just a matter of time.
Remember, you made it, it's your bubble, so you can take it off or change it at any time. You can put stuff in it, nobody else can. You can remove anything, like take out every photon of light, leave that spirit in abject darkness, watch the change in them, and it won't take long if you did it right.
Now, whatever you do, DO NOT INVOKE THE NAME OF JESUS, YAHWEH, OR ANYONE ELSE! If you do, you just ruined everything you've done. This is your own doing. If you are doing it to a hater, a vampire, a troublemaker, a whatever, then it is a righteous deed! Keep it to yourself, and be content that you've done the world a favor. Best not to call attention to the fact -- let the target have all the attention, and you just casually go on about your daily business.
Any questions?
https://www.reddit.com/useSerialBrain2/comments/dwkwe0/rosenstein_kelly_and_tillerson_started_the_coup/f7n3mx6/?context=3
YESHAMA DELIAH!
ASUM DE AL HMONGA!
VOAN!
KESLATA!
PZNIONA!
BHSAT!
SALUMNIAH!

https://preview.redd.it/a12ybe4yfcp51.png?width=852&format=png&auto=webp&s=55ad9e18dbc9e675d89ddb1b518c49e1947c1e77
submitted by cowboy3023 to u/cowboy3023 [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:08 PearlOfTheStars4 Need Advice For Narcissistic Ex/ Baby Daddy. Long post

Hi all!. First and foremost I am guilty of always taking the high road and I get taken advantage of. This is going to be a long post, so buckle up and hopefully y'all can give me some tips, advice. In 2015, after 10 years together, my then husband CALLED me to tell me he was divorcing me. We just bought a house 6 months prior and my girls were 8 and 5. He gave no reason then. It was totally out of left field, kind of. He had an affair 7 1/2 years earlier with someone he worked with who was married with kids. At the time, my youngest was about 6 months old. I was living in OK, knew no one, i stayed. Came back to tx a year later.
About a week goes by and he still hasn't given me a reason. I let him see the kids if he wanted. I later found out the day after he left, he got a vasectomy. I finally asked him if we could sit down together and talk because I felt like i was mourning the death of my spouse. So confused and sad. He agreed, I took my kids to our neighbors.
This next part is straight out of a movie. I could not have guessed it would happen. I asked him if it was because of someone else again and his exact words were "oh God, no, im not even thinking of dating" i swear the moment he said that, my Facebook messages kept going off. Curious, I open it. Its from a man named Neil. He was writing me to let me know his wife, who again, worked with my husband, was having an affair with my husband. She was married and has a kid!! Wtf is wrong with people? Anyway, he wanted to let me know she left him a while ago but my husband was too much of a pussy to tell me. I then realized he had sent this to me and everyone they worked with. He's still the one who gives me info lol. We've become very good friends and support each other.
I immediately told him to get the fuck out of my house. He said it was a lie, it wasn't, theyre now married and she hates me. Ive never been anything but nice to her because I refuse to stoop to her level. She had the balls to come to my kids birthday party with her kid BEFORE my husband left me. He also had the first one come to a cookout years before.
At the moment i fianlly got him to leave, it felt like a weight had been lifted off me and any love I had for him was completely gone and has never returned.
After our divorce was final, in an attempt to further hurt me, he decided he was going to try to take my kids away from me by making up any lie possible and taking me to court. The judge was not impressed with him and told him he never wanted to see him in his court again. Every lie was so easily proven. It was so stupid. When the judge asked me why I thought he would want to do this, my answer was "he's a man who walked out on his wife and children and doesnt want to pay child support."
He has been so ugly to me. Like, horrible, horrible. I am sensitive but he is just awful to me. Also a dead beat dad.
I got remarried last August. My husband loves our kids soooo much. Like they're his own. He deserves a damn medal. And they love him too, so much. They wanted to change their last names to his. I had brain surgery in february and I am out of work for a year, maybe more.
In November, my ex just up and moved over two hours away, which is a blessing but I also made sure that the courts knew because in my divorce decree it says that I cannot move out of the contigious counties around me unless he moved. He went from being a high paid nurse to being a janitor and selling ducks. Apparently he's become a hippy. Hes making less money and wanted to lower child support from 1200 a month to 200!! We met with the child support office and as usual, he was trying to control me and feel like shit. He is very mentally abusive. I reluctantly agreed. After I left, the child support office called me to tell me not to take the deal. I told them I was scared of what he would do and they said they would just file the paperwork and i wouldn't need to talk to him or see him. I guess I should mention ive already had to have a restraining order on him. He was pissed but we went to court in March. That court date determined that he would pay 656 per month. I should add that since he moved, he coukdnt play health insurance anymore which he was required to pay. They put that burden on me but he has to pay half. My husband actually got insurance through the military. He stopped paying in June. I havent received anything. I have reported him every month. I havent mentioned anything to him because he would just make me feel like shit and come up with some lie. My kids tell me how much money he's blowing. It's not fair. He takes advantage of my kindness all the time. He knows i can't work that my husband takes care of us 100%. Its like hes hoping that me not working will make us lose everything or something. I guess I need to know how yall would handle a narcissistic, dead beat, absuive ex. Im at my breaking point. I wish i could say that im done being nice to them but it's just not in me. I dont know what to do. I have reported him but when is enough, enough? When do I finally get to feel justice for everything he does and has done? It's not fair. Its not like I can with hold the kids. I am the primary but I still can't keep them. When he needs to adjust the schedule, he always tells me a reason and I give in. He makes me feel awful if I try to say no. I just want him to be held accountable, ya know? Anyway, if anyone has dealt with this, please give me advice. I'd appreciate the support! And if you need clarification on anything, please let me know. Thank you!!
submitted by PearlOfTheStars4 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:07 manicpixiedrm plz help; gill fluff gone

hey guys
did a water change about a day ago and since then i've noticed that two/four of my lotls (not all tanked together) have basically no gill fluff but before hand had GREAT gill fluff and one of the four his gill fluff is defiantly short (he is a recent re-home to us, i'm assuming he's just stressed which makes complete sense)
i'm planning on removing them from their current tank as when we did a water change with our other fish we've had issues (could it be the water itself is just bad currently and thus doing this or is it completely my fault?) and since removing them from their environments they have been thriving... we think maybe ammonia or nitrate issues?
they have a filter and live plants a clean tank their water is about 21c but it's a big cloudy (like the tanks we were having issues with)
i read too much i oxygen can effect their gill fluff but that was never fully proven they say it can also be stressed which is likely because the tank location did move rooms (could this be a stressor? their tank is the exact same it's just moved locations? do they get depressed if they can't see their people as often? i know our girls were a little social maybe that's it?)
i test stripped it and everything seemed to be okay minus how cloudy it was.
going to put them in temporary tanks still we figure out what's going on.
side note: our stunted lotls has this our tank and he is THRIVING he got a water change same time as all our other fish and all that but his tank is wonderful and clean and his gills are fluffy and he's absolutely thriving so we don't know what's going on
pls no harsh comments or anything i'm so stressed i just wanna know what you guys think i promise i'm a good fish dad i just have no idea what's wrong and have exhausted all the things i thought it could be and just want all my dudes to be healthy and happy
does anyone know how long it takes for the fluff to re-appear if they're in good conditions? just so i have a time-frame to keep in mind.
thanks in advance
submitted by manicpixiedrm to axolotls [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:06 Machinerija "Should I stay or should I go?" after this girl I really like.

Story incoming. I (M22) have been in a 2.5 yr relationship with a girl I really loved. She loved me back aswell. During this time I met this other girl (Let's call her Kate). They're the same age and went into the same year in the same school. Now me and Kate always had this unexplained sexual tension between us. I always ignored it, I was in a happy relationship. But my girl noticed it and it bugged her, so I stopped messaging her.
Fast forward to January 2020, I got dumped. The year started shitty. I was a whole mess. I started talking to her again and with every conversation we would get more intimate and sharing personal details about ourselves pretty quickly. We have a lot in common. So much I actually called her female me later on in this story lol.
In June this year, she and her boyfriend broke up. Bare in mind, I had no romantic feelings towards her in any matter but physical attraction. I always found her extremely attractive. That day, without knowing what will happen or anything I asked her to come and grab a cup of coffee. Purely friend-like intentions. I saw she was nervous and asked what is wrong, she told me how their relationship is falling apart and how she literally just broke up. I started to console her and give her some good natured advice. The attraction was still there, but no one was acting on it. For now. Later she was sitting in my lap and after that we danced, but it was purely friendlike. Nothing romantic or anything. I still sensed that she liked me.
A week later they get back together and lo and behold, some time after they do another "pause". My father is a dentist and she called me up cause she needed to come for examination. After that we hit up on the same spot by the lake and drink coffee. Things get a bit heated up with a tad of dirty talk, but nothing major. Week later they brake up for good. Half a month has passed and she calls me up and tells me that she needs a ride and that she will pay me for fuel (3 hour drive in total). I agree, not like I was doing anything. On the drive home I tell her how I think we'd be a really good couple and she agrees with me. One thing tho, she doesn't want kids and I dream of becoming a father one day. We both agree that it would be dumb to try for a relationship knowing how things stand.
Some time after that we go out to a neighboring town. There we spend some quality time and on the way back we go to a local soccer stadium where we talk about her problems with her family. There I could tell that Kate was going through a lot and it was hard for her to say it. I hug her and while breaking the hug I try to kiss her. I just felt like I should. She pulled back a bit and then leaned in and kissed. We talked a bit about what happened and all that. Talked about some of her problems again and everything. When we get to the car things almost turned to sex. But I stopped it cause I didn't feel like she should be doing something like this, several weeks after she got out of a 1.5 year relationship.
We have a few other dates that end mostly the same way. We didn't even know what we are. Weather we were fwb or what. Anyways, she meets this girl (Kate is bi) and falls for her. She tells me we have to quit it cause it will affect her dating her negatively. I agree and we stop, but we don't stop hanging out. Last time we got drunk and nothing happened but the conversation. Last night she said she has to stop hanging out with me totally because it will negatively impact her dating. Really bummed me out. After all, she was a really good friend. So I called my best friend. We met up and I told her everything. She said to me: "You must really be in love with her huh?" I tell her "No, she is just a friend of mine and I want to keep it that way." But I started thinking and realized I was in love with her.
Should I go after her or not? If so, should I wait for an opening or just go right now?
TL;DR: Should I try to win over my ex fwb while she is dating someone else?
submitted by Machinerija to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:06 SoaringViking 20 [M4F] looking for Caring Girfriend - Portugal/Anywhere

I'm a gamedesign student, and have been through some relationships that didnt go that well because i am kind of wierd.
I'm the type of person that doesnt want to go to work outdoors and would prefer to work indoors as a freelancer or whatever, because I'm constantly searching for a way to make money staying at home, I've done a couple things that didnt work out well for example videos, streams, Music producer, Design, etc.
Here comes the messed up part....
I barely like to go outdoors.
I dont want some1 who drinks alcohol, smokes or do drugs... (some shit i went through in my childhood), i almost never want to leave home, i love to be in my "world" where no1 causes any problems, i'm super clingy unless im playing, so expect me to give a lot of hugs and kisses alongside a handful of compliments and ill wait the same in return.
I don't need a drama queen, my life has enough problems already, i would like you to be responsible, to have patience with me, to try to understand me. I have trust issues, so the moment i feel like something is a lie ill kinda get obcessed with it, and i am sorry.
I dont honestly care about your past, how many guys you've been in the bed with or if you sold your body before, that also aplies if you have some "suspicious" stuff online, its okay
I play most of my time, VideoGames for me are everything, and the thing i love the most (you'll eventually get it why) so expect me to be playing almost all the time.
I dont watch movies, nor netflix or whatever, i only watch animated stuff like anime, cartoon, disney, etc.
I am a boring person, unless you like to sit doing "nothing" you'll end up giving up on me. My mood can change kinda fast, even tho ill always do my best to not hurt your feelings because of it.
I'll always give my best to please you, ill be 100% honest, and if i do something wrong/you make something wrong, we'll need to talk about it, solve it together, and be okay together.
I'll fight for our future together, i won't leave you unless i can see you dont want me, if i see you're somehow using me, or if i dont feel any love at all.
Life is hard and i can understand that, so i won't be mad if you can't reply for some time, but i'll get mad if you pass too much time without replying, (last time i used to be ghosted for around 3 days).
I've been dating girls, immature, ungrateful, disrespectful, violent girls, i think it's time for me to get know some women, some stability in my life would be really nice, so i want you to be my "home" where i feel safe and always want to get back to.
thats basically it..., you can message me here if you're interested, and a BIG THANK YOU to every1 who read till here, have a nice day!
submitted by SoaringViking to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:05 joycelovexo9 Lost physical attraction to boyfriend

When I first met my boyfriend 6 months ago he wasn’t my usual type physical wise. He isn’t ugly to me, I just couldn’t see myself dating him. He is different from all the guys I’ve dated. His teeth are really bad and something about his face I didn’t really like that much. We were friends for 2 months before we dated, he did everything he can for me to be his girl and I suddenly fell in love with him. His personality, heart and who he is is amazing. He’s such a gentlemen and he is so faithful. So sweet! He is my ideal husband. He has all the qualities. Everyone loves him and the way he treats me. I feel like I finally have the love that I deserve. He’s perfect. I was convinced I’ve found the one. I thought about the future together and so much more. Marriage was the goal. I became physically attracted to him. His teeth, face and everything became beautiful to me because I loved him for him. I don’t know what happened or how but I find myself criticizing my boyfriends physical looks.. i feel guilty because i ain’t perfect either. No one is. most of the time when I look at him he isn’t good looking as I would like him to be. I look at him and I notice all the little things that I didn’t notice before. Some days he’s ok looking and some days he isn’t good looking at all. We still have sex, and sex is good but it isn’t the in love sex we used to have. When he kisses me for too long I can’t go on and It sucks. When he says sweet things to me i feel guilty because i don’t feel the same. He is crazy in love with me but I am not with him anymore ;( I am an affectionate girlfriend but now I’ve been more distant. I don’t see myself with him in the future... i don’t think he’s the one anymore. This sucks I fell out of love with him but I still LOVE him and I want to be with him SO bad, I wish I can make this work somehow. I told him how I feel , i told him I’m falling out of love and that I’m losing feelings and that i don’t know why, i didn’t tell him the part that I’m unattracted to him cause that will break him and I’d never tell him that. I found out the other day that I’m pregnant. It was not planned and I can’t believe that I am! I’m happy with my blessing but so sad that Were going through this :’( I’m going to continue loving him and trying my best to get to where we were before. I’m so sad. I feel like a horrible girlfriend and a bad person ;( but I can’t control the way I feel and think. I deserve happiness. I keep blaming myself for this. What should I do? Should I keep fighting until the baby is born to see if the baby would bring us closer? Or what, I hate that this happened to me, lord knows all I wanted is a family that sticks together ;(
submitted by joycelovexo9 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:03 Fisherman_Valuable1 I didn’t speak up!

Hello! I really just have been dying to get stuff off my chest I’m not sure how others will react but I just want to breath again😩 When I was younger my parents went the best but tried hard. As a child I was given mixed signals, my parents split up and my mom met my step dad. I learned new discipline. My parents are very young so we grew as they did. My step dad would beat me till I learn that speaking back was not right. Not cleaning wasn’t okay. I grew up quick, my parents weren’t around much. They would drop us off at my grandparents. When I was home I was scared. I remember the first time I meet my step dad, my sister and I were fighting and he choked me and pushed me up a wall and told me never to hit her again. Over the years the abuse became worse, but I would work so hard to have a dad figure that I thought it was okay. I would always suck it up Because he would apologize to me after but it would always be at night :(. My mom and step dad had two kids together. I wasn’t so happy because it meant that he was stay for good. As much as I wanted a dad figure my mom let him hurt me. Over the years it carried on but we became closer as a young girl not know what he was doing was wrong. He would beat me the touch me in place that he wasn’t spouse too. I never told my mom because one I didn’t think she would believe, two I was terrified. It progressed more and one day he called me in to the living room and started tickling me and started touching me. I cried and cried for help I asked his daughter to help me but she wouldn’t help and as soon as I broke loose from his grip I would run too my room. I cried for my mom, and yet i never to told her. Years pasted and he did the same things over and over again. Then I turned 13 and he would buy me underwear and try to force me to put it on I would never cave in. I wanted him to leave me alone, he stayed persistent. I constantly thought that the only way it would end is if I would die. Thoughts of suicid ran through my head. I was so young and anger that no one would believe me. I was hurt . There was one time where I couldn’t shower, because my bathroom was being worked on he told me I could shower in my room but I felt like there was something wrong. I ran into the bathroom looked around and noticed that there was a tampon box and a hole cut in it with a camera. Turned the camera off and faced it the other way. I cried in the shower, got out and dressed and then when I walked out he pulled my towel. I was thankful that I had put my clothes on I ran to my room. That same year he would buy me underwear, and not the type a kid should wear with tinker bell on it, it was silky underwear that was red with Lacey trim. I should my uncle’s girlfriend and she asked me what’s wrong with it. I told her my dad bought me these. She never said anything. I wanted help but I was too scared to ask for it. At this point I think my mom notice that it was a little strange that he was more attentive to me than my other sisters. One day she yell at us and said I didn’t need to be in a room with him alone. I knew then she had a gut feeling. We moved house and I started a new school. I figured as I got older it would stop. I went to shower and after my shower I went to go put some clothes on I picked out a pair of underwear and notice that the thin piece in the middle was missing, so I began to check other pairs and notice the same thing. I have realized that it had never stopped it just be came less noticeable. Argument in my house hold would stir. My mom constantly accused me of sleeping with my step that and when I would tell her that’s not true. It hurt me because she never thought that he is the one hurting me. Her excuse was I DONT KNOW you and that I couldn’t be trusted. One year my mom was cleaning her room and going through my dads stuff, well she found a pair of my underwear in his shoe and she asked me about it. I wanted to break down to her so bad, but I knew if I did she wouldn’t believe me. My heart sank Because I had no clue he was taking my underwear. I covered for him and said I put them there. On a hunting trip. I would tell people that he was my stocker. Everyone thought I was joking. They would say stuff like that’s your dad he’s spouse to be protective and he was just crazy. A years pass by and I realized that other dads aren’t like this with there daughters when there my age. I let it go and tried to think of other things but sometimes I would look at pictures of myself as a kids and realize that I hurt that little girl by not saying or doing anything. That little girl was me. I didn’t protect my self. I thought everything had stopped and my prayers have been answered. One day I went to shower and I realized that I could hear someone or something in the attic. Well I walked out the bathroom the same time my step dad walked in from being in the garage then it hit me he was the one in the attic. I figured he was watching I would do everything I can to cover up so he couldn’t watch. Well my parents left the house and I decided to stay home. I walked up to the attic went looking to find out if he was truly watching from the shower. I couldn’t find anything then on my way out I seen a light cut on in the attic. It was the bathroom light. I had found where he was watching. I could see where it was cut out and my bathroom fan was broken into. My heart sank I cried and questioned why my life was like this and why I was going through this I prayed and prayed for help. I have decided that the only way to make it stop is to move. I want to move far away and finally feel free from being trapped and in a cage. I’m going to fix my attic before I leave. In the 7th grade I read a book that had a percentage in it about girls in the United States that will be raped or end up pregnant by a certain age. I paid so much attention to it because I was in that percentage of young girls. I couldn’t believe that was me. The book was completely true. Now I am 19. Yes my heart is broken, when I think about it I cry softly. I’m so sorry to the younger girl I hurt inside. When I move I promised to protect myself. I know I can’t go back in time I wish I could. I just wanted someone to listen
submitted by Fisherman_Valuable1 to offmychest [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:02 LegitSprouds Male-female friendships function?

I'm a dude btw, but i noticed that every single one of my female friends with whom i frequently talk with, are all autistic to some extend. But i am not sure whether autism is a strong factor in sustaining male-female friendships in general, or just with me.
So i have an explanation for why it works for me, but i also wonder about your experiences, to see if, and to what extend, it is partially true for others.
So i have a hard time managing social bonds with basically anyone. I don't really (concioussly) mind if I haven't seen a friend for a long time. But managing them with the opposite gender is even harder. And this isn't just because of autism, it's true for men in general.
But when a girl is autistic, there is a higher chance i will keep in touch with them, then if they were a non-autistic male.
I think this is because:
1) Autism kinda hijacks conventional social behaviour, so when both parties are autistic, there is less stress or need for having to maintain strict social behaviour and awareness. Thus making autist generally like other unfamiliar autists more on average, than a regular unfamiliar.
2) Similar way of world viewing. In my experience, autistic people have this need for analysing everything. This is fun because understanding is fun. It provides stress relieve because it explains and predicts, and whatever it is that is being analysed or disected is the perfect topic for conversation, unlike most other 'basic' topics of conversation. So autists are more likely to be more emotionally invested in another autist because they experience more fun and easy going topics of conversation with them.
So this sounds logical to me, but it isn't necessary true since i have only myself as a reverence, and I'm particularly antisocial, and i feel as though i exclusively attract individuals who are similar.
So i wonder:
How does female-female friendship function when one is autistic. I know that males dont find it problematic at all, but females have more nuanced social behaviour, so is it more of a handicap?
How does female-male friendship function when one or the other is autistic.
I know the severeness(intensity) of autism also plays a major role.
submitted by LegitSprouds to aspergirls [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:01 Author_BlassWolf Trafikverket and the arbitrariness of driving tests

(Sorry for posting in English, I am learning Swedish but by no means I am confident enough to express myself correctly as of yet)

Two days ago, I failed my driving test.
Now, let me tell you all a bit about myself and what led me to write this post.
I am a Brazilian national, having moved to Sweden (Stockholm) with my wife and two small girls two years ago; we moved here through a specialized workers program, we love the country, and I know of no better place to raise kids than here.
We spent these two years using the Swedish public transport, which is very effective and works brilliantly by the way (Except for a cursed bus line, 144 fruängen, this one never works well), and we had no need for a car until early this year.
Our girls are 4 and 6 years respectively, and they have been going to the same kindergarten for the past two years, but the time came for my 6-year-old to go to school, and she ended up assigned to a school on the opposite side of town, creating a problem...every morning me (or my wife) need to bring the kids to different places before heading to work, and pick them up again (in different times) by the end of the day; after facing this routine for some time, we decided it was time to get a car.
As I mentioned before, I am a Brazilian national, and I possess a Brazilian driver license; my wife and kids are Russians, and we lived in Moscow for 5 years, so I also took a Russian driver license when living there (both licenses are still valid by the way) I drove in Brazil, and also for 2 years in Russia, making my daily commute from Moscow center to the town we were living in (about an hour and a half driving every day) - I was always a careful driver, I never had a ticket or got involved in any kind of traffic issues (the most significant thing was a parking lot scratch once) now; anyone that drove in Moscow knows the traffic there is quite a chaos, so I consider this an achievement.
Still, since Russia and Brazil are not part of the EU, I am required to take the Swedish driver license (I can't simply exchange my existing driver licenses for a local one), it makes sense, and I am 100% ok with that.
So by the end of April, I joined a (quite reputable) driving school in the Stockholm region; the first thing they have done was evaluate my driving since I already had a driving experience and after the assessment, they told me my driving is excellent, that it was enough for me to do only the mandatory part of the course and proceed to the final test.
But since the queues for the test are quite long due to Covid-19 restrictions, and since we were not exactly in a hurry to get a car, even with our new commute problem; I decided NOT to do the minimum required by law; instead, I purchased a lessons package at the driving school (my main reason to take the driver license is to transport my kids, so I wasn't going to take any chances). It felt like a really good idea to have practice in the Swedish traffic and learn the "Swedish way" of driving, making sure my integration would be safe and perfect.
Between the end of April and September, I completed all the mandatory courses and passed with no problems in the theory tests, plus an additional 26 driving lessons (with the total, including fees amounting to a little more than 20.000 SEK)
The final test day came, and my driving instructor and I were very confident; my last two classes were taken immediately before the test, and once more, my instructor said I had everything more than covered.
I sat in the car with the driving inspector, that showed me a video in English explaining how the test goes (I am learning Swedish, but I am still not great at it, and he didn't know much English); I performed the safety check, and off we drove.
He gave me directions as we drove around Farsta, made one or two questions about football and Brazil, but otherwise, he kept his eyes on his tablet; at one point, he asked me to park the car, later to reverse around a corner, etc.; after about 30 minutes we drove back to the starting point, I parked the car and turned off the engine.
My driving instructor was outside smiling at me; I waved to him and looked at the inspector still sitting in the car; that's when he looks at me and say:
It took me a good 10 seconds to process it, as everything had been smooth as always; immediately, my mind started to race to try to remember what I could possibly have done wrong to make this man think that I am not ready to drive; I finally managed to mutter:
To which he responded:
Even with the sheer absurdity of this explanation, I did reply:
He simply replied:
He exited the car and informed my driving teacher (now in Swedish) that I had not passed the exam; my teacher was as surprised as me, asked him why, and got the same explanation.
Driving back to the school, my teacher said he had no clue why he decided to reprove me; at some point, he said:
I checked the email I received from Trafikverket, the reason for my failure being listed:
Road safety and behavior
Your driving shows shortcomings in:
Now, to try again, I need to wait until December, pay new fees, etc.
The lesson we all need to take from this situation (which I am sure is not exclusive to me) is:
It is NOT reasonable for a single person to arbitrarily decide wheater or not someone obtains a driver's license.
Even though I was thoroughly accessed along 26 driving lessons with a certified instructor, ultimately, a man that sat with me for 30 minutes staring at a tablet had the final word.
This system (which is not exclusive to Sweden by any means) creates opportunities for arbitrariness and abuse of power since the decision of the inspector cannot be appealed.
Now, I am over 30 years old and somehow a "seasoned" driver, I won't let this experience define me, but is he aware of how easily the confidence of someone can be broken? Especially younger drivers?
How can this kind of experience affect people's confidence in traffic later on? When even being extensively trained, you can be crushed by one single person?
How this kind of thing still happens in Sweden (and many many other countries for that matter) in 2020?
What are the reasons behind it?
Push for zero emissions? (The irony, I never intended to buy a non-electric car)
or is it just human nature to abuse power?
Or is it something else entirely?
Regardless, I think this topic needs a lot more attention than it gets; and as Edmund Burke said:
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
Thanks, anyone who read until the end.
submitted by Author_BlassWolf to sweden [link] [comments]


2020.09.25 21:01 inFlickWeTrust [Serious] I don´t want friends anymore. I want Love. I know that there is a flaw somewhere in that logic I just can´t see it and I don´t understand what to do about it.

I have been single for a long time now. In fact, I never had any relationship in the 19 years that I have been on this Earth. It´s not that I am desperate and going to choose any Girl no matter what but I am just tired of being alone and doing everything alone. I want to be hugged I want someone to care about me. I just want someone that loves me. How am I supposed to do that? Where do other people find people?
I think I should note that I have Aspergers. I am not easy to deal with as I have been told.
submitted by inFlickWeTrust to ask [link] [comments]


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